Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Feeling discouraged re finding love as a single parent - reassure me?

(21 Posts)
TomboyFemme Thu 05-Jan-17 15:09:12

I'm 29, single parent to a 5.5yo. Feeling very discouraged about my chance of ever meeting anyone EVER AGAIN!

So cheer me up with your positive stories of finding wonderful relationships with a child in tow

ph0ebe Thu 05-Jan-17 15:11:48

Watching !

Princessmollygolly Thu 05-Jan-17 15:30:22

Also watching!

Holowiwi Thu 05-Jan-17 15:32:32

You will be fine, at 29 it's probably be a bit more difficult if you have children mainly because the men around your age would be less likely to want to date a woman with kids however this is a good thing as it saves you wasting your time with those guys.

TomboyFemme Thu 05-Jan-17 16:59:52

Yes, I can't imagine dating anyone my own age!

Are you both in similar situations then, Princess and ph0ebe?

statetrooperstacey Thu 05-Jan-17 17:47:16

I am currently very happily married to my 3rd husband, I had 4 children he had none . It didn't put him off. I also met my 2nd husband with 2 children I was 26, didn't put him off either. I have also never been short of dates or offers! Just to add I am not rich nor gorgeous nor particularly nice. Don't feel defeated, IME
few men will be put off by children.
Some will but they just go in the pile that you would rule out anyway. So smokers, unemployed, short, overweight, men who don't want to date single mums . . . . Don't think of yourself as a charity case, or having 'baggage' do not be grateful for attention. You are bringing your family to the table it is a privilege for you to invite someone to join it. I have never done old. Good luck!

InfoFreako Thu 05-Jan-17 17:52:22

You are still young and have plenty of time to find love. "It only takes a minute..." as Take That once sang.

Though I see what other poster means about most single handsome guys in your age bracket will probably steer clear of a single mum. That's not surprising though and at least you can tick these off asap.

All's not lost!! There's loads of older guys out there so keep the faith! Though a high % they'll be divorced, potential emotional baggage and maybe with their own DCs but that's fine.

Good luck!

Cheers.

Ilovecaindingle Thu 05-Jan-17 17:59:23

I met my dh at 41 and he was 31!! He had no kids or exw. . I had baggage. A nightmare ex and ten kids!!
We are now married with a toddler and very happy.
Think lots of toads and now a handsome Prince!! .
Remember you aren't looking for someone to 'take you both on' but some lucky man is hoping he is good enough to join your family!!!y dh says he felt privileged to be part of our lives when we first met!!

SandyY2K Thu 05-Jan-17 18:04:44

Not me, but my friend. ..over 40 with 2 DC has found love after divorce. She is a very social person though. Her new man doesn't have any DC.

Another friend ... also over 40 with 2 DC ... found love with a widower with 3 DC

I know more, but I'd say those 2 friends are quite outgoing and one found her man through OLD.

Wheelycote Thu 05-Jan-17 18:10:03

I was 29 when split and now 39 and have been with my partner 7 years, we did meet over the net.

My advice tho...a strong cautionary tale. I felt I was quite savvy and cool but had been with the Dteens dad for 12 years and no clue about dating or men really now I think about it. I met a few men before my partner and was in fact naïve even though I thought I was clued up. I let myself be taken advantage of more than once or twice. Not everyone is genuine. My advice is....when you do meet someone don't rush in...keep a few cards close to your chest (not too many) until you know they are a all round genuine nice person....meet their family before you introduce kids and friends.

If they don't have family and friends and that you ever meet.....or even workmates....you don't get to see who they are as a full round person. Recommend that being a....deal breaker. Basically if your gut feeling is saying that not everything is adding up remain cautious. My experience was...it it sounds like a duck and walks like a duck....it is a duck even if your told and sold its something better.

When I met my DP it felt as if they're was nothing to hide and he felt open.

Hope that makes sense and that it helps

FannyCradock Thu 05-Jan-17 18:11:55

I met dp when I was 35 and him 32. I had 2 dcs, him none, been together for 15 years and have 2 more dcs together, still going strong. I'm sure you'll find love again soon smile

smEGGnogg Thu 05-Jan-17 18:15:51

I was a single mum to 3 children under 4, a bit squidgy round the edges and very unsure of myself when I met my husband in a pub. It was totally by chance, I shouldn't have even been there.

We've been married for 2 years now.

You're not a lost cause.

AllTheBabies Thu 05-Jan-17 18:36:34

I was a single mum from the start with dd1, I was 23 when she was born. I met dp when she had just turned 3 and 4 years on we have an 11 month old and I'm pregnant with dc3. We're getting married next year smile

To be honest I never had any trouble getting dates, having a child didn't seem to put anyone off. I did online dating mainly just because it was an easy way to meet people and I was a bit lazy grin

Newbrummie Thu 05-Jan-17 18:43:50

You need to be really really fussy. Do not date anyone you wouldn't have dated before the DC if anything your standards need to be higher. I married my ex because I thought I had to take what I could get as damaged goods and it's absolute rubbish. You'll find an amazing man and be happy I'm sure

Ledkr Thu 05-Jan-17 18:47:42

I was 39 when I met dh. I had 4 dc and a ruined body grin he was 27!
10 years later we are still together, married 8 years with a 5 year old daughter.
Still totally in love and very happy.
I had dated since my last marriage and been very hurt too.
I then took time to be single and comfortable being alone. I developed friendships and nurtured my children, home and career.
So when I met dh I was a strong, interesting and independent woman.
At 25 this should be a breeze.
Work on making your life wonderful and the rest will follow.

SharkBastard Thu 05-Jan-17 18:52:56

Had DD at 27 as a lone parent. Father never met her and never has met her. I was made homeless when she was born, and had to live in temporary accommodation until I was given a flat. I was quite happy for a while and really enjoyed our time together. However, I went online dating for a bit of company, and after a year I met my now DH.

We met, fell in love and got married within 18 months. He adores DD and she adores him, he works hard, looks after us and we now live in a beautiful 3 bedroom house in the country and I'm 25 weeks pregnant with a boy.

It happens and when it does, let it and love it. It's not without its bumps but the road is worth travelling. Oh and really enjoyed dating grin

SharkBastard Thu 05-Jan-17 18:56:39

Oh forgot, I met DH when I was 32 and now I'm 36!

Princessmollygolly Thu 05-Jan-17 19:26:34

Lovely stories. I'm 28 with a small dd. I have met a lovely lovely guy with no kids also in his late 20s and getting so nervous that he will bail at this early stage because I'm not a childless young thing. But I have a great job, own home, great life for dd, I'm still attractive and slim so I have to keep repeating this like a mantra- I'm good enough!

Cwtchythings Thu 05-Jan-17 19:40:03

I had been with my DH for 14 years, until he left me for someone at work. We had a 2 and 4 year old and I never thought I'd meet anyone ever again. 5 years later and I am in a relationship with the most amazing bloke who decided he was brave enough to take us all on! He's two years younger than me and our baby is due in 10 weeks smile I never imagined this is how my life would pan out but I'm glad it did because I am the happiest I've ever been. Thanks for walking out ExH grin

TomboyFemme Thu 05-Jan-17 20:24:49

Nice one, cwtchythings!

Sounds like things are going really well princessmolly. You are definitely good enough!

Maybe there is hope for me yet... smile

Cwtchythings Thu 05-Jan-17 20:49:42

Definitely Tomboy! I won't mention all the crap men I met in between. It would put you right off grin

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now