Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Turning myself inside out

(7 Posts)
Hmmmmmmmmmm10 Wed 04-Jan-17 21:43:53

My partner and I have been struggling since I was 6 months pregnant. Our son is almost 2 and a half. We've been going for couples counselling since September. Im struggling to see any sign of him trying to change and he says the same about me. I do think I've been trying to work on which issues I raise me generally take ownership of my own anxieties and self doubt that went out of control after son was born. I am wondering what other people's experiences of couples counselling has been and what worked? I do want things to get better but fear we're too different / too much trust has been eroded. Turning myself inside out trying to work out how to make things feel easier without just subjugating all my needs and feelings.

LineyReborn Wed 04-Jan-17 21:49:20

I would go for counselling on your own, tbh. Would that be possible? You won't work out your own needs in a room with your partner, you just won't.

NotTheFordType Wed 04-Jan-17 21:54:46

I am wondering what other people's experiences of couples counselling has been and what worked?

It absolutely helped me clarify that our marriage was over. We were totally unsuited and it was really helpful to look at our relationship from an outside viewpoint and realise that I wasn't being a quitter, I was just stopping throwing more time into a black hole of a relationship which would never make either of us happy.

Hmmmmmmmmmm10 Wed 04-Jan-17 21:57:35

Thanks for responding. I have been to therapy look at some things but reached a point where I couldn't do much more on my own when the source of my distress was the relationship. It was helpful for working out the source of the differences between us. I think I need some more so will get something organised. I am struggling to decide if this is a bad relationship that just needs to end, whether there's hope or whether I am just bad at relationships.

LineyReborn Fri 06-Jan-17 15:12:10

Hi again, how's it going?

I do sympathise with you. Could you live apart for a while to see if that helps clarify things?

Hmmmmmmmmmm10 Fri 06-Jan-17 23:19:34

Thanks for checking in. Had a much better few days and some more productive discussions. Hoping we can keep it up as we actually both want the same things. Living apart isn't really an option and I think it would just increase the distance between us when we actually need to be working harder on being a team. Definitely going to get a referral for me though. Take care yourself xx

LineyReborn Fri 06-Jan-17 23:21:57

And you. Hope you have a good weekend.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now