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Letting go

(9 Posts)
Shoegal0305 Wed 04-Jan-17 20:56:48

How do you manage to 'let go' of a toxic relationship? Not toxic as in abusive, but one you know is no good for you. One where you go round and round in circles but get nowhere. One where he can't let go of an ex who is mother to his child. One where you get promises which aren't upheld. One where you find it almost impossible to trust so you find yourself stalking social media. I need some tips as it's the biggest 'non relationship' relationship I've ever been in!

Shoegal0305 Wed 04-Jan-17 22:36:44

Anyone? X

humanfemale Wed 04-Jan-17 22:40:25

Check out Baggage Reclaim! The book website or podcasts. I have recently discovered them and they sound ideal for what you're going through. Really hope this helps flowers

Joysmum Wed 04-Jan-17 22:41:37

I think it's a case of trying to think with your head, not with your heart. Trying to be logical rather than giving in to feelings which are unreliable.

NoMoreCricketDartsOrFootball Thu 05-Jan-17 01:58:24

I second humanfemale.
The author of this site/blog is so wise it's uncanny, and you'll find a huge amount of very valuable advice and information that will help you to put things in perspective. A must for all of us who have been on the unavailable relationship merry go round.

Shoegal0305 Thu 05-Jan-17 06:40:42

Thanks all I will look it up xx

Angleshades Thu 05-Jan-17 06:42:57

I think you naturally hit a point of no return. It'll take just one more instance of bad behaviour from him where something snaps in you and all your anger will surface. In that moment you'll decide enough is enough and send him on his way.

Crazycat1980 Thu 05-Jan-17 07:36:26

I am still struggling with this - particularly he social media side. And this is 4 months post break up. Baggage reclaim had a really good article on emotional unavailability. I figured out I was his transitional relationship. It still really hurts but I understand it more. Good luck.

Shoegal0305 Thu 05-Jan-17 08:08:13

Thanks both, I've been on and off with this man for literally years. He's just bought a house by himself and says it's a new start. Whether or not it is time will tell. He's told me he really wants to make a go of things. Some days he tells me everything I want to hear and I think things are great. Then he goes quiet or only makes reference to sex etc. I don't know i want this and I don't know whether things will work. Our past history isn't great. He's let me down so many times in the past. I'm so scared of being hurt again xx

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