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DP thinks it's his fault I'm miserable

(4 Posts)
Coralfish Wed 04-Jan-17 12:31:07

I'm suffering from post-Christmas blues. I'm having a 'my-job-is-rubbish/the-house-is-a-mess/can't-be-bothered-with-January' self-pitying mini crisis, resulting in me constantly feeling a bit teary. I want to snap out of it, but the best I can manage is about 20mins at a time when I'm doing something else and forget about it.

The trouble is, my teariness was triggered by a self-depreciating hour or so of self-reflection after a silly argument with DP whilst he took himself off to calm down. We tend to have big blow ups like this about once every six months, usually triggered by something silly - we're quite good at dealing with actually important stuff!

All is forgiven, but not forgotten (as it usually would be) because DP thinks I'm 'still upset'. I've tried to explain that yes it was a trigger but it is not what I'm feeling down about, but he feels terrible that he's made me miserable (which he hasn't) and I feel worse because he feels bad about it...

How can I make him understand that I just feel a bit down and I can't be happy all the time. I'm prone to random hormonal crying (usually once a month!) but I don't often feel down like this and tearful for days, so that makes it harder (last time I remember was about three years ago and before we were living together!). I am fairly confident it will just pass as I adjust to the new year but how do I communicate this?

IrianOfW Wed 04-Jan-17 13:03:01

Show him this

I am a chronic depressive but I have it almost totally under control most of the years but come January I really struggle.

mayhew Wed 04-Jan-17 13:15:33

I dont know if my experience is useful, but i thought I'd share.
I used to be miserable at this time of year. I thought it was the combination of birthday/christmas/new year which made me anxious about my achievements and future. I dithered about getting a special light for SAD.

However, two changes have transformed my situation. Firstly, I got a dog. Being forced to walk outdoors every day, rain or shine has permanently raised my mood. Also, since I started high dose vitamin D, I find my mood is much more stable throughout the year.
Its been a revelation.

Coralfish Wed 04-Jan-17 13:45:20

Thanks for the replies. I have never suffered from depression but have always wondered about SAD because I am definitely less cheerful in the winter. I've just been reading up and it seems it is something that can get worse with age/other factors so maybe it is something I need to look into. I am going to start going for lunchtime walks to maximise my sunlight time and see if that helps. Even if it doesn't, it will be helpful to be able tell DP I am taking some practical steps and I will be able to stop worrying about him worrying...

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