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Single mum dating question

(10 Posts)
Princessmollygolly Tue 03-Jan-17 22:19:11

Had a really nice first date on Sunday. (Not online dating, met through a friend's friend). Couple of hours at a museum chatting about our shared interest, films etc. He was obv keen and texted that night to set up date 2 next weekend.
I have a 2 year old daughter. He may not know. I didn't bring up being a mum in the conversation - her dad left before she was born and tbh it's taken that long to get the confidence to meet someone I sort of liked. I wanted to get my head round it after meeting him for the date.

However now I think I might like him a lot and I feel a bit guilty for not coming clean before the first date let alone on it.
I have a good job, we don't want for anything, childcare no issue. I've wanted to meet a nice man for ages I just never meet anyone I click with!
Should I send him a message (we have been texting a bit) or wait till the date next weekend to bring it up? Am I crap for not bringing it up already? He's a very nice gentlemanly guy and i don't want to mess him around. I'm kicking myself for not making it come up in conversation, though it wasn't a super long date.
Any thoughts?

merville Tue 03-Jan-17 23:06:50

Next date seems fine to me. Seems something best said in person rather than via a text.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with you not telling someone you have a child on a first date; now that you like him enough to see him again, and vice versa .. you can let him know.

If you met through mutual friends, seems odd he wouldn't know though.

Princessmollygolly Tue 03-Jan-17 23:17:08

Thanks merville that's reassuring! I agree about the in person thing. I won't see him before the date next Sunday so i think I'll just make sure we talk about it then. I have no experience with this so its been a bit confusing. I want to keep seeing him, want to take it slow and definitely no plans to introduce him to dd for the foreseeable future, but I'd love to spend more time with him if he's ok with it.

Princessmollygolly Tue 03-Jan-17 23:18:21

Oh and it was through more of a friend's acquaintance, at a Xmas party, so a fairly tenuous connection though other people in the group know I'm a mum and if he's looked me up on FB (we are not friends yet) she's usually in my profile picture with me. So not sure whether he knows or not!

daquee101 Tue 03-Jan-17 23:34:43

Mine knew as I put it on my tinder profile. Had a lot of interest in my son rather than me lol , wanting to know all about him haha

Princessmollygolly Wed 04-Jan-17 09:31:37

daquee how old is your son? Did your date seem to mind you being a mum?

daquee101 Wed 04-Jan-17 09:44:13

So he was 9/10 months when we met. He absolutely loves him, Can't do enough for us, treats him as his own (even though he does have a dad in the picture).

broodybrooder Wed 04-Jan-17 11:09:00

I don't think you should worry OP - don't know how old you are or he is but I reckon after mid-twenties, pretty much everyone knows a kid in the mix is a probability.

Also, I bet you he already knows anyway - everyone FB stalks after a good first date don't they? grin

My DP really LIKED the fact I had a daughter. Said when I spoke about her, he could see a softer side in me he might not have spotted otherwise.

Princessmollygolly Wed 04-Jan-17 11:17:16

I'm 28, he's 26. Comes across very mature though you know how some people can be an "older" age than they are. He's very old fashioned and I had assumed he was older.
Really starting to like him so I just hope he doesn't run off! That's brilliant about your dp broody, I feel like I'm the same when I talk about my dd. she has made me a way better person and I'm proud of being a single mum so I hope he can see that.

broodybrooder Wed 04-Jan-17 11:34:11

Yeah, I was like that too, proud that I was doing it on my own. I never encountered any negativity about being a single mum which is amazing!

I think your attitude helps anyway - you're proud of it and if anyone has a problem, well fuck them really.

I remember DP said in the first few months how he really respected how I juggled the work/mum/house/independent thing on my own. I guess some people might find that patronising but I took it as a compliment.

I wouldn't worry about not mentioning her on the first date either - if you'd seen it as an issue and something to be 'confessed', you'd probably have tried to shoehorn her into your conversation. But as she's one of the many amazing things in your fantastic life, she didn't crop up in that short space of time! smile

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