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Am I throwing it away?

(12 Posts)
Ronniesleaddress Tue 03-Jan-17 21:41:14

I have been with my BF for 5 months. I am self employed (extremely busy and stressful profession), and a single parent.
We have had a lot of fun and fallen for each-other quickly. He has kids a similar age and has them half the week. I work a lot at times and the last month has been one of those times. He has got quite sulky with me over this. I missed a few social activities (group stuff with people I don't know) and the New Year's Eve i went home.
During this time I had some bad news that a close friend has died so I didn't feel up to doing much out of work. Despite this we had 3 days over Xmas with family and kids etc which was great.
I've just noticed lately (last month since I've been busy) that he sulks or starts to sort of 'mither' at me if I am doing something when we're together that means he doesn't have 100 % of my attention. He's getting a bit moany about sex, and he hasn't really been open to me talking about how I might be feeling. He doesn't work due to a disability
Is this just a phase? I've asked for bit of time out but I'm still unsure what to do.

AttilaTheMeerkat Tue 03-Jan-17 21:51:42

Throwing what away?. Are you that over invested in him already? Don't get stuck on the "sunken costs fallacy" particularly after only 5 months into dating this person. That simply causes people to keep on making poor relationship decisions. What you forget here is that the damage has already been done.

You are seeing red flags re this person after only 5 months; the time out you are taking from him now needs to be permanent. He is not a nice person and now you are seeing the real him. A sulky miserable person who wants your full attention 100% of the time. Your relationship bar needs to be also raised a lot higher.

Montane50 Tue 03-Jan-17 21:59:19

This isnt the phase bit op, the bit at the beginning when he was fun and understanding was a phase. This is the real him!
Get yourself out of there asap, you need a man who will love and support you, not hold you back

Ronniesleaddress Tue 03-Jan-17 22:01:47

Yep I totally get that. Think it's been the whole xmas / work stress/ death thing it's definitely made me quite miserable. Things were great except for the last 4 weeks

Montane50 Tue 03-Jan-17 22:18:50

If he can see you at the worst points i.e stressed/busy/death, and be supportive hes a keeper, if he gets selfish? You know he thinks less of you than you thought

Ronniesleaddress Fri 17-Mar-17 00:23:21

I did end it. He's been sending me sexual messages until very recently and demanding to know about my sex life. I have now told him that no we can't be friends and to leave me alone.
This has resulted in me having a relapse into depression and anxiety which has gone on for a few days now. I feel like absolute shit that I have let him into my head and set me back like this.
I trusted him with personal information and he has used it against me to hurt me since I ended the relationship.
Even though I know he's been an abusive creep his comments have worked and got to me. FFS I am annoyed and sad at myself for letting him into my life

Meowstro Fri 17-Mar-17 00:39:54

Well done you for ending it, OP flowers

Stay strong. He couldn't handle the rough times and kicked you whilst down, what he has done post break up says it all. You saw what he was like, it's not your fault.

These people have a way of hiding who they are, especially during the honeymoon period. Work on building yourself up again, do what you want to for yourself and don't look back.

Aberry Fri 17-Mar-17 00:45:41

Change your phone number as soon as you can and cut him off he does not sound like a nice person.
He can not add anything positive to your life x

Secretlife0fbees Fri 17-Mar-17 06:14:40

Glad you ended it OP. What a complete wanker. You'll be fine, block him. flowers

hellsbellsmelons Fri 17-Mar-17 13:20:12

I'm sorry you are struggling but I'm very glad you ended it.
He is really showing his true colours.
What a nasty shit he is.

Ronniesleaddress Mon 20-Mar-17 18:20:27

Thank you for a much needed bit of moral support. I'm starting to feel a bit better. It's mad how this has knocked my confidence in all areas of my life...I'm not sure I can keep going through this shit with men

Shayelle Mon 20-Mar-17 18:47:04

You can get thru this... deep breaths, hes a loser and he will dosappear soon enough, just block him from everything and keep him blocked. You will feel better soon x

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