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Consent Orders help!

(35 Posts)
amammabear Mon 02-Jan-17 20:54:28

I've applied for a divorce from my ex, he says he's sending the papers straight back, so it won't be long until I get the decree nisi and so I need to get on with the consent order...

The problem is, I'm confused- and Google isn't helping me. For the consent order, obviously, he has to consent, but does he have to actually be involved in it?

I know it has to be drawn up by a solicitor which I'm going to have to bite the bullet and pay for, but he doesn't have a solicitor. So what happens? Can anyone that's been through it shed any light on it for me?

PigletWasPoohsFriend Mon 02-Jan-17 20:58:00

For the consent order, obviously, he has to consent, but does he have to actually be involved in it?

Of course he does.

It is the agreement that you come to with regards to financial split. One party can't unilaterally decide what happens.

amammabear Mon 02-Jan-17 21:11:15

But then how does that happen? He can't come to my solicitot.

PsychedelicSheep Mon 02-Jan-17 21:30:50

He'll either have to get his own solicitor or represent himself

HeddaGarbled Mon 02-Jan-17 21:40:43

You make a suggestion on the advice of your solicitor. He either agrees or disagrees. You will probably have to attend at least one mediation session, one if you both agree, more if you don't. Your solicitor will explain the process properly. The actual consent order won't be written until you've both agreed the details.

This may help:

amammabear Mon 02-Jan-17 21:41:07

A consent order has to be drawn up by a solicitor, it's the only reason I have one.

amammabear Mon 02-Jan-17 21:43:46

Thanks hedda

There's really nothing for us to agree you see. I just need the clean break. We have no property or finances to split. I'd like to include the child maintenance, but I know that can be hard to enforce by that method.

amammabear Mon 02-Jan-17 21:45:05

We already have everything agreed

pennee Mon 02-Jan-17 21:46:53

In my situation I had a solicitor and my ex didn't. We attended mediation to discuss our child and the finances as we were unable to make an agreement alone. Once we came up with a proposal, the mediator sent the agreement to my solicitor who it was agreed would be responsible for sending the documents to court. From there the courts decide if its fair or not. In my case they didn't and after lots of going back and to with pension details etc, I requested a hearing with the judge. I explained why we felt it was the best outcome (it didn't seem fair in my favour on paper) and he then approved it in my presence. The sealed order was then sent back to my solicitor for him to enforce and keep track of dates the lump um was to be paid by. This is 56 days from the day it was sealed if I remember rightly. If you need any further info let me know and I will help if I can.

pennee Mon 02-Jan-17 21:49:26

If he has agreed with you regarding the finances etc then ask him to write to your solicitor outlining the agreement and authorising the solicitor to draw up the order

amammabear Mon 02-Jan-17 21:51:56

Thanks, yeah everything is agreed but I can't find anything that tells me how to do all this.

MrsBertBibby Mon 02-Jan-17 21:59:14

If you are going to use a solicitor, they will know what you need to do, surely?

amammabear Mon 02-Jan-17 22:01:30

Yes but it will cost more if they have to tell me to go away and come back again

ColdFeetinWinter Mon 02-Jan-17 22:06:51

Wikivorce is a helpful site.

If your ex has agreed terms get your sol to write the consent order, show to ex and get his agreement. It then goes to court and becomes part of the final divorce

ColdFeetinWinter Mon 02-Jan-17 22:08:28

It's up to him to have his own sol to look over the order and I think he has to sign to waive his right to do this (vague memory from my divorce). But that's down to him.

amammabear Mon 02-Jan-17 22:22:04

Thanks coldfeet, I was hoping that would be the case

PsychedelicSheep Mon 02-Jan-17 22:51:47

Exh and I did this, split everything equally and completed the consent order together. The judge has refused to grant it though, they want more info on how we came to split things how we did. So they won't just do what you/your ex ask for necessarily

amammabear Mon 02-Jan-17 22:58:16

There really isn't much to split.

ColdFeetinWinter Mon 02-Jan-17 23:21:13

I think I had similar to sheep actually but we showed the workings out I.e. House worth X amount, costs of selling = y and X-y .... Type of stuff. We agreed a 50/50 split with each keeping pensions.

There wasn't a lot to split for us either.

ColdFeetinWinter Mon 02-Jan-17 23:22:17

Biggest issue was the fact that ex wouldn't involve a solicitor and I think he did have to sign a waiver saying he had taken independant advice (even though he opted not to)

amammabear Tue 03-Jan-17 09:21:02

Thanks coldfeet

We don't have a house, we have two cars but we don't own the one I use, he's keeping the one we own as otherwise he wouldn't be able to work or have the kids.

There's really not a lot else to consider.

Ellisandra Tue 03-Jan-17 13:49:28

I wrote up everything I wanted to propose in my CO, and showed it to my then husband to check he agreed in principle.
He did.
My solicitor then drafted it "properly" then sent it to him with a letter telling him he ought to see a solicitor and it was his responsibility if he didn't.
He didn't.
It got submitted and approved.

Ellisandra Tue 03-Jan-17 13:52:34

And although I wouldn't say mine was super complicated, it did include property, a legal charge, shares, a pension sharing order request and an ongoing payment towards my mortgage interest and childcare costs.
So not simple!

IIRC, child maintenance separate to CMS is one area that even in a CO can be applied for review after just 12 months.

I actually don't claim CM and made sure that the CO stated he paid 50% of childcare costs based on the current use of after school club continuing.

amammabear Tue 03-Jan-17 19:07:45

Yes, I knew that it can't be pursued after 12 months. I considered whether it's worth putting something like after school clubs into it- can that then be persued longer than cm?

Whatevs80 Tue 03-Jan-17 20:05:09

I'm watching this with interest...

Sorry to jump on your thread OP, but tees seem to be some helpful posts here.

Have just applied for the decree nisi and have been in preliminary discussions with STBXH re. Financial settlement, ahead of mediation.

I've had legal advice that suggests 70/30 split of property in my favour (2DC aged 3 & 7 that live with me)
So far we have roughly agreed this, in the form of me paying him 15% in cash at time of divorce and the remaining 15% on the sale of the house - via a mesher order I guess?

My question is; once we have agreed and the solicitor submits this to the court, is it always looked at by a judge?

Sorry if this seems dim, but if that's the case how does anyone ever walk away with 100% of the assets - assuming you've both agreed?

Not that that is at all what I'm trying to achieve, I want him to have the 30% of the equity as suggested but also am massively aware of my earning potential compared to his, also have suffered and recovered from a serious illness in recent years so I want to protect me and the DC as best I can...

Any wise words would be appreciated!

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