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How do I get this to end on my terms?

(29 Posts)
Pixieb34 Mon 02-Jan-17 11:08:38

Sorry, long story...
My ex left 3 months ago after a 2 1/2 yr relationship, living with me and my 2 ds.
No contact, he just cut me out of his life overnight like I didn't exist. Has ignored my few and brief attempts to contact him. Never said goodbye to my children, was extremely cold and callous about the whole thing. This was a huge shock to me, and deeply hurt me and my boys. I'm still struggling to come to terms with it as I honestly believed he loved me.
Anyway, we owned a trailer (for camping gear) together, and I sold it in November. I needed the money as he left me in a terrible position financially too and I just didn't want to look at it everyday!!!
He text me out of the blue on New Year's Eve to say he'd visited his mate, my next door neighbour, and noticed the trailer wasn't there, what had I done with it?
I decided to ignore him....after 3 months of nothing he sends that!! Not to mention he spent all evening next door and I had no idea!! If my boys had seen him it would've been just awful!!
Well, he sent me some question marks in a text at 11.20 last night, obviously annoyed I never replied!!
What should I do to end this in the best way? I can't have a discussion about it with someone who clearly cares so little for me and my feelings.

bearsnumberonefan Mon 02-Jan-17 11:11:48

Block his number? I don't know if that's the right thing to do, but it's what I would do. If he was that bothered he would've contacted you sooner about it

magoria Mon 02-Jan-17 11:12:58

Block his number and keep up with the no response.

He left 3 months ago. Nothing you have done since then is any of his business.

My betting is he is just after some £ out of it.

He is not your friend. You don't owe him any explanation.

pklme Mon 02-Jan-17 11:13:54

I'd block him. If anyone asks, express surprise that he had been in touch with you. That you blocked him after his earlier behaviour.

HandyWoman Mon 02-Jan-17 11:14:05

Block him. Think no more of it. He thinks
Nothing of you. He can feck right off..


CondensedMilkSarnies Mon 02-Jan-17 11:16:45

I'm not 100% sure so don't quote me but I think that if property isn't collected after 1 month then you are entitled to get rid of it.

If it was so important to him , he would have taken it with him. Do you have any other stuff of his?

Ellisandra Mon 02-Jan-17 11:17:07

Yep, block the number to avoid any whiny arse shit to follow!

You shouldn't have sold his property - sorry, I understand why, but you didn't have the legal right to do it.

So best thing to do is totally ignore him!

category12 Mon 02-Jan-17 11:17:23

Ignore him.

Ellisandra Mon 02-Jan-17 11:18:13

That's not right Condensed. There are laws related to abandoned property but it includes making reasonable steps to contact the owner.

RandomMess Mon 02-Jan-17 11:20:00

Block his number, presumably his share didn't cover his share of council tax, utilities, phone line, which are all paid retrospectively...

CondensedMilkSarnies Mon 02-Jan-17 11:20:53

Ellis I wasn't sure , just going by what I did as a landlord, although I did give the tenant notice that I would dispose of property if they didn't collect it.

Ellisandra Mon 02-Jan-17 11:32:05

Yeah, it's pretty standard to have a clause in tenancy about disposal, I did too.
But in an ad hoc case like this, the OP couldn't assume ownership to sell without giving notice. Or at least trying to.

Definitely just ignore - but in the meantime add up any money he owes you ready to throw that back at him (in icy calm legal way!) if he pursues this.

I think you'll find he crawls back under a stone fairly quickly though.

Pixieb34 Mon 02-Jan-17 11:59:03

Thank you for your replies...
I agree ignoring and blocking is the way to go.
He had blocked me previously on whatsapp (pathetic as there was no need to) so even the msgs I sent were never received. It would be reasonable to assume I tried to contact him about it but couldn't. I called him once and asked him to ring me, he didn't. Don't know if he got to msg or not, but I tried anyway!!

Pixieb34 Mon 02-Jan-17 12:02:03

Also, if he gets no response I'm worried he may show up at my door. He clearly wasn't bothered if I or the children saw him next door so doesn't care about that. He does however care a lot about the trailer!! Weird
Pixie x

pklme Mon 02-Jan-17 13:36:06

Ok, so he has refused contact from you in the past, when you could have asked him what to do about his stuff. Does he have a key? If not, just practice in your head what you are going to do if he comes knocking... Put a song on loud in the bedroom and dance wildly with the kids, have a friend on standby to call who can come to your door. Decide at what point you will call the police. These things are scary if they catch you out, but less so if you have a plan!

SandyY2K Mon 02-Jan-17 13:41:29

Well I think you can say you tried to contact him and messages were not returned. So in the meanwhile block him. What a fool he is.

WynterBlossom Mon 02-Jan-17 13:43:58

Don't reply!! You owe him nothing.

If he turns up, call the police.

He ended it by walking 3 months ago, who the fuck does he think he is by contacting you now?!

If he turns up, tell him to fuck off

Pixieb34 Mon 02-Jan-17 16:23:53

He does still have a key! I assumed that he would leave it when he collected his stuff but he didn't. I thought he would've probably binned it by now but I don't know.
He must've also taken the keys for the trailer as I wasn't able to unlock it (I had the wrong keys), but we unscrewed the locks and the bloke bought it as it was.
Hopefully he will leave it now, but I've got a plan of what to say and do! Thank you smile
Pixie x

SandyY2K Mon 02-Jan-17 16:25:10

Change the locks ASAP.

magoria Mon 02-Jan-17 16:32:21

Depending on the type of locks you have it can be really easy to change them yourself. I did in about 15 mins for my back door.

Figure out what lock you have and have a quick look on youtube.

pklme Tue 03-Jan-17 06:23:01

Get locks changed. How rude is he!

wowfudge Tue 03-Jan-17 07:40:44

Change the lock barrels. They cost about £10 and you can do it yourself. You do not want him letting himself in and helping himself to your stuff.

wowfudge Tue 03-Jan-17 07:41:06

Oh, and if you have an alarm, change the code.

InfoFreako Tue 03-Jan-17 10:41:13

As others have said, I would block his number. If you engage in text conversation, he's got his foot in the door so to speak regarding the caravan sale.

Be ready to have details of how much he owes you (utilities, council tax, etc.) in case he tries to progress the caravan situation.

Be strong! I hope it works out for you.


Simonneilsbeard Tue 03-Jan-17 11:06:32

God that's cold. So sorry that happened to you and your children.

I agree block, delete all means of him contacting you. He left the home with not a word and left everything behind, what you've done in that time is none of his business.
You deserve better.

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