Hey all, some of you might remember me - i've posted about my crazy adult sister before. Please don't point out I've been stupid here - I know I have.
I resolved after a horrific last Xmas to never stay in my mums house again, as my sister lives with her and it's just horrible every time waiting for her to kick off. I feel really stupid and sad, but I'm posting this from my mums spare room, unable to sleep because of stress.
I stupidly thought that this time would be different, as it's a special occasion - me and my OH are getting married and after serving Xmas this year we thought we'd come over to my home country and see my mum and register to get married. In hindsight, this was stupid.
Sister has been a pain in the arse since we got here in a minor way, abusive to my mum as usual, but she is intensely anxious about the wedding - ranting on about our choices versus her preferences of how things should be, and it all hinges on her paranoia about what people, particularly old neighbours will think. She keeps saying she's trying to 'protect' me - in reality I think she just can't bear it not being in her control. She has threatened multiple times not to come if I invite some people she doesn't like, and she's meant to be a bridesmaid FFS.
Her behaviour is just shit - me and OH went to bed to get away, and she came into the room to rabbit on at us, and after me repeatedly telling her to leave the room, we're in bed, OH lost his temper and shouted at her that it's our wedding and not her decision who comes. Then half an hour later she calls me from the next room going on about it again FFS.
I mean, WTF? How is that an acceptable thing to do? some people on here have said maybe she has PDA but to be honest it makes no difference what label you give, she is enraging and exhausting to be around, amazingly entitled and utterly self centred. 
I just wanted a nice visit for this one nice occasion.
I have found a hotel we can stay in for the next 2 nights and will be doing everything in my power to take my mum out and have a great time, it's just such a shame - quite apart from the fact that we don't have the money AT ALL to drop ££ on a hotel room because of her, we came to see my mum, and we can't - because of her.
Arrrrrgh. CUNT.
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Sister MH issues - help and advice?
pandarific · 02/01/2017 02:53
Oh god tenshi, don't say that. petrified.
We will have a run through the day before, but I was planning for my best friend (maid of honour) to keep an eye on her on the day, and to honestly just block her texts from my phone whenever it gets too much, and claim phone is broken/bad reception.
We're having the wedding we want, no way are we eloping - invites are out, venue booked etc. She hates the idea of being conspicuous or people having cause to gossip, so I hope she'll be okay on the day.
Let's not get into cancel the cheque territory. 
It's too late to change the wedding, and I love what we've got planned.
We have spoken to my mum and unfortunately it's worse than I thought - she has got my mum in bits, there are more rules than a North Korean concentration camp, in her own house. Apparently she's on her best behaviour, since we're here, which is a horrible thought.
On the plus side, my mum is completely on board with her needing serious psychological help, and has stopped minimising now.
She's asked us to have a word with her - suggest that she needs a referral to a psychologist. Is that what we need? She needs someone who knows their way around complex MH stuff, NOT a counsellor who will just listen to her justifications and take her at her word.
If she won't go, my mum is going to go and speak to our family gp who treated her for depression in her teens and ask about getting her a referral.
It's pretty depressing. I want not to be involved to be honest, but I need to support my mum. We will try to have a nice time with wedding things anyway, but I feel like it will turn into this horrible drama filled trip once we speak to her. My mum has said if we go to a hotel it will impact badly on her - my sister is basically persecuting her. Idk what to do about that really.
LOL @ Streuth thinking an OP that is currently going through this gives a tiny rats ass about her opinions on bad language. 
Streuth really? 
You are aware this is MN & as adults we're allowed to use whatever language we wish?
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