Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Family conflict sorry this will be long

(6 Posts)
user1481652258 Sun 01-Jan-17 23:00:12

We have always been a very close family small but close. We always have a family Christmas at one house it's the one time of year that everyone togent together.
So this year we met at one of my aunts and uncles house because their daughter my cousin had given birth 10days before (her and her boyfriend live with them) she has always been a very selfish child so we all knew that when the baby was born that she would not really be bothered with him (we were wright).
So we all arrived all happy for Christmas gifts in hand. Most of us had a cup of tea in hand I think 3 out of 12 were having a glass of wine. We could hear a blazing argument cousain and boyfriend going on upstairs but the baby was downstairs with us so fine let get on with it 20 mins after we arrived the boyfriend comes down yelling you are all getting pi..ed I'm taking the baby upstairs. Like I said I'm sure only 3 out of 12 had a glass of wine. The arguing started again my uncle kept going upstairs.
We exchanged all our gusts until only two were left they were from me to my cousin and the boyfriend. I decided to go up it had been quiet for 30mins I felt it would be ok as I was only giving them gifts they were very nice gifts. I walked in to see my cousin on the bed in floods of tears and the boyfriend stomping around the room with baby in hand. Before I could open my mouth he asked me to leave as I walked over to my cousin the boyfriend started squaring up to me like he was going to hit me. I Asked my cousin if she was ok I am not scarred of the boyfriend I have dealt with his sort before my cousin said just go downstairs you will only make things worse. This really got to me as I knew she was scarred of him I asked him if he would like me to take the baby downstairs because the screaming was not good for him. Again he started squaring up to me telling me to get out and that the baby was his my uncle came in and asked me to go down I did as this was his house. Later in the everning screaming still going on from upstairs I was talking to my aunt she said he always does this he has ruined so many holidays and events because he kicks off. So I took the gifts home.

The next morning I get a Facebook message on my cousins account from him telling me I need to learn to stay out of his business for he will punch me in fine head and to stay away from his son.
My reply was ok
I then got another message threatening my mum worst thing he could of done thus really go me a Angary but again I replied with ok.

I have taken screen shots of this as proof. He is a boxer with a temper so the threat is real.

I've spoken to my aunt and uncle they have kicked the boyfriend out.
My cousin says she is still dating him.

At the time if receiving the messages I wanted to report it to the police I'm still not sure if I should. My aunt and uncle say they are not scarred if him but you can tell that they are I fear for them and the baby.

Cherrysoup Sun 01-Jan-17 23:48:35

Report to non emergency number. At least there'll be a record.

WannaBeMonica Sun 01-Jan-17 23:51:25

Even if you don't want to pursue the matter with the police it may still be worth contacting them. They may be able to look up his history under Claire's law and advise your cousin/safeguard as necessary. If there isn't a previous history there to concern them, they can keep the information on file for future reference.

Is your cousin young? First baby? It sounds like she needs support and help for herself and the baby to get away from this abusive relationship. Just because he's been kicked out, it doesn't mean that she is free of him. Could you suggest a post Xmas catch up alone with her and use the opportunity to talk to her about womens aid and other support available? I'm sure other posters will have good links/information to help. Keep communication lines open so she feels able to ask for help.

It sounds like a very upsetting situation, I hope her and the baby stay safe and well away from him. Good luck flowers x

BonnyScotland Sun 01-Jan-17 23:55:23

Police can only pursue a pattern of behaviour if you report the behaviour... Please call the Police and log these threatening messages ... at least leaving a footprint that can be followed should future events require it x

StrongerThanIThought76 Mon 02-Jan-17 09:54:47

Is he a professional boxer? I'm sure there's some ruling that they're not allowed to use - or threaten to use - their 'skills' out of the ring. Might be worth researching with his professional body? Deffo contact the police. My spidey senses were tingling all through your post op.

user1481652258 Mon 02-Jan-17 10:25:56

Thank you everyone. I am going to report it to the police today if only for my own worries. I've also had a look in to Claire's law I think it's Grate idea.
Yes he is a professional boxer well he says he is

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: