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Mumsnet expertise/suggestions needed

(10 Posts)
lisalisa Sun 01-Jan-17 20:51:16

For various reasons I have grown to distrust my dh of 25 years marriage . Nothing I can put my finger on but have a feeling he's playing around . Today he says he cuddd to deliver a parcel to Cardiff - we live in London - for one of his customers ( he owns a transport business ) as money is a bit tight and we could do with the money if he does the delivery himself . Ok so far . However he mentioned that it was a bit far to go there and back in one night and he might stay over . He has never ever stayed out in 25 years. Always wants to be home in his own bed and would move heaven an earth to do so. Has just called from
A petrol pump as he says and it's raining very badly on the motorway and he's just past bath on m4 back towards home . He's feeling very tired and says he's going to ask someone where there is s hotel . I told him at any service station thee is usually s hotel - I used to know the m4 years ago from
Student days - but he says he'll go and ask someone where to stay .
I feel suspicious as to what he's up to and where he's staying and who's with him and whether he even went to deliver this parcel .
Trouble is im not good at sleuthing and Have no way of finding out or catching him
Out . Any suggestions anyone ?

ihatethecold Sun 01-Jan-17 20:56:46

How would he pay for a hotel?
Card, cash?
You might be able to see where he stays.

lisalisa Sun 01-Jan-17 21:05:33

Either but prob cash so I won't know . Any other suggestions as I'm really bad with this sort of stuff - Have no idea how to be clever

fc301 Sun 01-Jan-17 21:14:14

Can u track his iPhone?

fc301 Sun 01-Jan-17 21:14:52

Find out which Services he meant and ring the hotel there?

lisalisa Sun 01-Jan-17 21:18:21

How do I track his iPhone ?

FlyWaxSleepRepeat Sun 01-Jan-17 21:20:00

Phone him, ask him exactly where he is and tell him you'll find his nearest hotel and book it for him over the phone?

Track his iPhone if you have his login/password details?

Ask him to call you once he's in a hotel turn phone the hotel and find out if he's there.

It does sound suspect.

lisalisa Tue 03-Jan-17 23:25:30

He was in a hotel in bath - gave me the name.
I can't shake the suspicion he's seeing someone. All the signs point to it - all of them .
Over the last few years he's lost tons of weight, started dressing years younger (. He's 53) like wearing a leather jacket and skinny jeans . He now weighs the same as at our wedding 24 years ago . Bathroom
Covered in age loss prevention wrinkle creams. Buying clothes for himself.
But the tell tale sign for me is that he's never home. He just doesn't sit with us as a family ever . He's always out and will always tell me where when i ask and name our mutual friends . It's just odd that he'll go sit with these married men or go out for coffeee with them or to the pub / different ones all the time but he must be out of the house . Even if he and I go out for the evening he'll still go
Out in his i afterwards somewhere saying he's not Tired. He'll either say he's going to work (. He's self employed ) or out for a drink with a - named - friend .
I'm going to hand to get a private detective to watch him
Aren't I?

Sparkesx Wed 04-Jan-17 14:11:17

I had a cheating ex that would never admit he was cheating. For my own sanity I had to snoop, I guessed his passwords and I knew his e-mail address. I checked bank statements, his call lists from his network provider.

I wouldn't do that now, I'd just leave but he made me feel like I was crazy (I wasn't). Also trust your gut instinct.

hellsbellsmelons Wed 04-Jan-17 14:17:03

Good grief they are such a cliche!
I say trust your gut.
It's rarely wrong.
Do you know the password to his phone?
Does he ever leave it unattended?

If you have the funds then hire a PI.
It will give you peace of mind, knowing the truth.

Or you could just confront him.
Tell you know everything and it's time for him to confess and pack his bags and leave.

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