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Ex partner snooping through emails and accounts....

(26 Posts)
UserOneMillion Sun 01-Jan-17 20:04:55

DH and I have been together for 3 years and have a DC.

He also has a child with his ex partner who he separated from 4 years ago.

We have DH's DC every weekend, this weekend he dropped her off and thought he could smell weed.

His ex slammed the door in his face when questioned. She then sent him a screenshot of books he'd bought on Amazon about medicinal marijuana and called him a hypocrite.

He crushed a disc in his spine last year so was looking for alternative pain relief as all the NHS prescribed was morphone which made him incredibly ill.

So she's been snooping through his emails, Amazon, eBay and Facebook accounts. This is really not on, right?

NewIdeasToday Sun 01-Jan-17 20:14:13

How can she read his email and Amazon accounts etc? Doesn't make sense.

UserOneMillion Sun 01-Jan-17 20:14:58

She's somehow guessed his passwords.

pog100 Sun 01-Jan-17 20:17:04

Obviously it isn't right but surely he has changed his passwords since he left?

NewIdeasToday Sun 01-Jan-17 20:17:08

Well they can't have been very good. He should just change them.

girlelephant Sun 01-Jan-17 20:18:17

How do you know she has been snooping?

Ilovecaindingle Sun 01-Jan-17 20:18:41

My friend just experienced something similar except her ex had just got out of prison. Hacked into her emails etc. Police involved and told her nothing could be done against him and just to change her email address!! So now they have had to install panic buttons in both her and her parents houses as he now knows where they all live.

MsMims Sun 01-Jan-17 20:20:01

When did he change his passwords last? If they haven't been changed since they were a couple, more fool him really. She hasn't necessarily guessed his passwords, maybe they both used the amazon/ eBay accounts.

And I agree with her that from her POV he is a hypocrite.

UserOneMillion Sun 01-Jan-17 20:20:32

He's not the most imaginative when it comes to passwords but did change them since they separated.

tribpot Sun 01-Jan-17 20:23:56

He could do with something like LastPass that will manage his passwords (and create random passwords for each site). He should also use two-step verification on accounts which offer it, to prevent anyone from being able to access the accounts from an unknown machine.

HecateAntaia Sun 01-Jan-17 20:25:03

No it's not.
He needs to change his passwords to something unguessable.
Either a random combination of letters and numbers eg gwW67tTnn19 or something or three unconnected words eg bananarubybrooklyn or something
if he's stupidly using his kids name a pet's name birthdates his home town or any of the other ridiculously guessable things then he is not security conscious.

Yes she shouldnt do it.

But people dont always behave how they reaonablly ought to do.

So you have to protect yourself.

Notapodling Sun 01-Jan-17 20:37:11

I'd be furious. That's a huge breach of privacy. Like other posters have said, he's going to have to change all his passwords (again) and take a close look at his security.
As for calling him a hypocrite, there is a huge difference between reading a book about marijuana and actually smoking it when you know you're going to responsible for DC.hmm

offside Sun 01-Jan-17 20:38:30

Well he isn't a hypocrite. I am completely anti drugs, and have a very hard stance on the subject. However, medicinal marijuana is a different kettle of fish, it has different compounds to cannabis and is prescribed on the NHS for specific ailments. Unfortunately it is not widely available and therefore you have to look elsewhere for it, but it's different from Street corner cannabis

PaterPower Sun 01-Jan-17 20:39:53

If she didn't actually buy anything on those accounts then it may not be a crime in the sense the police would bother about it, but it's still a gross invasion of his privacy.

As for the "hypocrisy" element, I don't think she's got a leg to stand on unless she knows your partner is taking it and/or smoking it around their child as she (or her NP) clearly is.

MrsBertBibby Sun 01-Jan-17 20:44:22

Her response really is a pretty clear indication that she's smoking weed, although I don't see the relevance if it's while the kids are elsewhere.

UserOneMillion Sun 01-Jan-17 21:04:25

He wouldn't be as bothered if she was smoking while his DC wasn't there. This is why he didn't press the point as he could t be sure if the smell was from the night before...

She is bipolar which is also a worry as it may mix with medication? Really don't know what to do.

laurenmarie88 Sun 01-Jan-17 21:06:48

She's a nut case doing that ..... move the fuck on sounds like something my DP ex would do !

RebelRogue Sun 01-Jan-17 21:07:57

You don't do anything. You tell him to change his passwords,to somethings not easily guessed,and to check no email or other accounts are linked from when he was with her.

laurenmarie88 Sun 01-Jan-17 21:11:02

Just change every password add numbers and stuff

BrightRedSpinner Sun 01-Jan-17 21:14:15

Agree he needs to tighten his security, but it is totally unacceptable behaviour in her part, bordering on harassment and saying it's his fault for using easy passwords is surely victim blaming?!?

Also agree that there's nothing hypocritical about reading a blinking book.

UserOneMillion Sun 01-Jan-17 21:53:47

Is it legal?

Bunkai Sun 01-Jan-17 22:01:05

A friend of mine had some bother with an Amazon account and a exH. I think they were still linked. She would get email updates to her email as to what he was buying and then found out he was accessing her Amazon TV and deleting programmes. She created a new acclunr in the end. Could it be something like this?

Bunkai Sun 01-Jan-17 22:01:32

*account

BrightRedSpinner Sun 01-Jan-17 22:54:57

If there are any other similar incidents I would say it was harassment and therefore illegal. Not a lawyer or anything though, just an ordinary joe.

tribpot Sun 01-Jan-17 23:05:15

I suspect it's already a crime under the Computer Misuse Act or similar, but of course the only proof the DH has is something he may not wish to take to the police.

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