DH has always been resistant to change and quite cagey about finances. When we got together and new things were fairly serious I didn't want to move in with him before we got married ( no one in my family had done this and I felt like a black sheep of the family and also liked the idea of setting up first home together after marriage). It got to the point where it was either move in or spilt. I moved in against my wishes but didn't want to spilt. Move on a few years we had a stressful year with the prospect of redundancy v relocation hanging over us. It was edging towards a house move and relocation to another country. I was stressed and oh wanted a holiday. I said I didn't want to go as there was so much to organise and I really felt like going away would make me feel worse only to be told that he was going anyway. It was a holiday that he could not go on his own to, so I ended up going. I semi enjoyed it but ended up having to take unpaid leave as I didn't have enough left to tide us over during the move.
His relocation gave him a bounty. I don't know how much this was but he 'gifted' me £2000 to add to my personal savings so that I could put in an equal amount in to the deposit on our new home. Our finances are separate and he controls the joint bank account as I organise most of the day to day stuff. I probably should take more interest.
When we had children I waited the year he wanted to wait as he wanted to do work related stuff first. This didn't come off and the date got pushed back so I ended up waiting 3 years at which point I was like a crazy lady and feeling bonkers for being so desperate by then to start our family. I have a few things I would like for myself ( pet) and he simply says 'no', he doesn't want to. We now have x2 dc. He is jealous of my relationship with them and when he asks things like 'can I have a hug' or do you want to hold daddy's hand' hey often say they want mummy. He gets huffy and says 'oh, no one wants daddy, what's so special about mummy?'. The need for physical contact seems to be more about him than their needs. TBH I am thinking I want out and will leave him this year but am wondering if this is all normal or do I have unreasonable expectations? I shudder at any physical contact and we have just had a miserable new year as I can barely speak to him. He gets on better with my own family than I do as he can be charming.
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Is this normal?
16 replies
Inadither · 01/01/2017 10:02
OP posts:
0dfod ·
01/01/2017 12:44
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