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Survey to men particularly?!

(77 Posts)
Bluejeans16 Sun 01-Jan-17 00:50:30

Just looking for a glimmer of hope in humanity (particularly the "man" part of that word:
Do ALL men hire call girls or cheat with chat lines and webcams or if you find DP does is it worth hopping on the next train only to find we're all on a merry-go-round of swapping partners in life when they get caught out?

Moral dilemma for me - I feel like many people find partners/husbands cheating and airing their heartbreak on MN so gives me little hope for even bothering trading up ...so to speak.....
Any men want to give anonymous perspective please?

TokenGinger Sun 01-Jan-17 00:54:46

I'm not a man but I can assure you not all men are twats, and to suggest so is a huge discredit to a large percentage of the population.

Ltb

BitOfFun Sun 01-Jan-17 00:56:07

Not typical, I would say.

TheMortificadosDragon Sun 01-Jan-17 01:16:19

Not a man either, but most of the men I know (DH, family, colleagues etc) are good loyal blokes.

Don't get things out of proportion based on MN threads, esp on relationships or aibu it will be a self selecting sample of people who do have problems, not the silent majority who don't.

Prawnofthepatriarchy Sun 01-Jan-17 01:25:25

I agree with PP. Ime most men, like most women, are loyal partners. The ones who aren't cause so much anguish and fallout that they seem more prominent than they are. The silent majority quietly pootle along being decent to each other.

user1483208776 Sun 01-Jan-17 01:47:42

My second attempt at replying to this thread. As a man. No we are a lot less in into prostitutes, strip clubs and general sleeping around than you might think. Most men don't enjoy stagg nights. It's something we dare each other to do but don't actually enjoy. Strange I know but there it is. I've never cheated or been with a prostitute but I did sleep with a girl in a long term relationship. She ended up marrying him! Now I'm older just some one to date would be amazing but I'm 29. Most but not all women my age are married but not all. It just one of those things, but it can all change in seconds

MrCreosote Sun 01-Jan-17 02:03:33

No. Not all us men are like that.
I'd rather cuddle on the couch with my DW, watching a movie than go looking for something else. Definitely would not pay for some slapper.
I know that the grass is not greener on the outside and I'm more than happy where I am.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Sun 01-Jan-17 02:05:39

Slapper?

MrCreosote Sun 01-Jan-17 02:10:09

What would you call someone who drops their knickers for money? 😀

WynterBlossom Sun 01-Jan-17 02:12:59

My second attempt at replying to this thread. As a man. No we are a lot less in into prostitutes, strip clubs and general sleeping around than you might think. Most men don't enjoy stagg nights. It's something we dare each other to do but don't actually enjoy. Strange I know but there it is. I've never cheated or been with a prostitute but I did sleep with a girl in a long term relationship. She ended up marrying him! Now I'm older just some one to date would be amazing but I'm 29. Most but not all women my age are married but not all. It just one of those things, but it can all change in seconds

You are 29! Hardly 109....you've got plenty of time to find someone.

whattodowiththepoo Sun 01-Jan-17 02:25:36

DONT WORRY LADIES, MAN HERE.

Seriously though, I cheated once I was 18 and should have ended the relationship but didn't.
(That's not an excuse it's a regret.)
Never had sex with a call girl or tried to.

RobinSnood Sun 01-Jan-17 02:27:18

MrCreosote I would call them a sex worker.

And FYI it is not the responsibility of a sex worker to ensure that any men she sleeps with are single. That is down to the man. Calling such a person a "slapper" is misogynistic does not reflect well on you.

RobinSnood Sun 01-Jan-17 02:28:07

* and does not reflect well on you.

building2016 Sun 01-Jan-17 02:32:32

My brother and my good friend were two out of eight men who refused to go into a strip club on a stag night. That's a quarter of the party.

uptownchick Sun 01-Jan-17 02:34:34

I would like to think not all men are twats, its just difficult to find one who isn't I guess. I still hope I will meet a good one one day though and I wish the same to you OP x

MrCreosote Sun 01-Jan-17 02:39:07

RobinSnood. Sex worker, slapper, potato, tomato. Their main clients are married men. They don't care, they just sell them selves, mainly for drug money.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat Sun 01-Jan-17 02:47:27

DP's old friends would occasionally head to a strip club on a night out. DP would come home instead. He doesn't watch porn and would never even consider sleeping with a sex worker.

Thing is, he respects women and sees them as human beings. There are good men out there. You just have to look around and run a mile at the first indicator the next man doesn't actually like women.

OliviaBensonOnAGoodDay Sun 01-Jan-17 02:52:19

And FYI it is not the responsibility of a sex worker to ensure that any men she sleeps with are single. That is down to the man.

This times a billion.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat Sun 01-Jan-17 02:53:49

Ugh, clearly not sleeping around isn't always a sign of a keeper either... hmm

Italiangreyhound Sun 01-Jan-17 03:20:17

I am married to a lovely man (I am a woman).

It helps to listen to what they tell you, or what they inadvertently give away.

It they tell you they are bad, believe them! If they act craps when you are just dating, don't assume it will all come right if you marry.

There are some horrible men out there but lots of good ones too.

Bluejeans16 Sun 01-Jan-17 10:16:15

All the above posts I've seen before and from what I've seen and heard and read over the years I always thought the stats were about a quarter of the men are "good" guys....but why so many married men visiting call girls and why the huge rise in porn and I do think the two are connected and feed each other, which comes back to my question is that do MOST men succumb to these temptations if bored perhaps with one woman and particularly middle-aged men and older? I'm the wrong side of 40... been single for a few years and many single friends my age and their friends stay single and in and out of relationships forever and a day because most men at this age are like this? I don't want to jump from the frying pan into the fire! - sounds cowardly but I'm really at a moral dilemma!

stumblymonkey Sun 01-Jan-17 10:49:17

All of the stats I've seen suggest about a 50/50 split, whereas for women it's about a 40/60 split so actually not that different.

So,yes unfortunately there are a fair few arseholes out there but don't let that stop you from finding one of the 50% that aren't.

And definitely don't use MN as a guide...it's just that rarely will people bother starting a thread called 'My DP is quite nice and normal and we're getting on well....what should I do about it?'

building2016 Sun 01-Jan-17 11:03:09

There is lots of helpful advice on MN about red flags though. So that if you do start a new relationship you can figure out more quickly whether he's a good un.

SleepingTiger Sun 01-Jan-17 11:20:13

The sex industry is enormous not just on a worldwide basis but even in the UK. There is an increasing supply that is for certain. A recall a university study about a year ago uncovered that escorts alone generated some £6 billion per annum of income and there are c.75,000 operating in the UK. Mind boggling! The supply is enormous and the same study shows an increasing customer base, mainly male but a significant increase in females buying services also. Add to that the phone lines, cam sites and the figure probably doubles or more.

I would say it depends on the character of a man and other factors like access to money and time. If a person has life goals to fulfill and a purpose I doubt it crosses their mind.

NotTheFordType Sun 01-Jan-17 11:25:56

I'd say most men will cheat given the opportunity, especially if they think they won't get caught. I'd say the proportion of men who regularly pay for sex is under 1 in 10. I'm certainly not short of customers.

On the other hand you could end up with a vile woman-hater like Mr Creosote up there, I know which I'd rather.

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