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Bump in the road or oved

(2 Posts)
Brokenandconfused Sat 31-Dec-16 23:16:28

Hi. I don't know where else to turn. My head is a mess. I seem to be going through a really rough patch in my marriage.

We've had a huge amount to deal with this year. But we did it. I think we are both suffering from depression which doesn't help. I've made an appointment with the mental health team to get some help for mine but he thinks there's nothing wrong with him and all his problems are caused by me.

We had an argument 9 days ago and still are barely on speaking terms. I think my husband has completely given up. He won't talk to me no matter how hard I try. I think he's lost all respect for me. He talks to me like shit and seems irritated by everything I say or do.

We have two children together and my health is really poor. I worry that he's staying with me through obligation. He knows how much I need him in a way so wouldn't admit he doesn't want to be here.

Problem is he won't sort things out with me. I feel like I'm living in torture. The whole of Xmas has been ruined by this. I have tried time and time again to talk to him but he just switches off or has an argument and then it's even worse.

It's me year's Eve and he's now doing the washing up rather than be sat in the same room as me.

I feel so incredibly sad and don't know what to do. I worry that our marriage really is over but I don't know how to leave. I live in the other end of the country from all my family. And I don't even speak to any of them. So don't have much to go back to. But I can't stay here if we aren't together. It's him home place.

I'm unemployed and disabled and don't know what to do. Im at the end of my tether with the atmosphere between us and just want to run away from life.

I'm sure this is probably a garbled up mess but I just need some outside input. How do you know your marriage is actually over and what's a rough patch?

I feel like we've been so off with each other for so long now I don't have any inclination to be near him. Ive almost lost all respect for him because of how he's treated me recently. But I don't know if I'm over reacting and over thinking things.

I don't want to waste my life with the wrong person. I don't want my kids to think this is normal.

Please be kind. I'm a fragile emotional mess sad

stripeylion3 Sat 31-Dec-16 23:55:24

Hi, I've been right there in that situation and it feels hopeless sometimes. It will either get better or get worse. The best thing you can do is build yourself up in any way you can. Seek health guidance from your GP. Do a course, contact some friends. Make amends with family maybe. If you do separate you will need some strength. Best wishes for the New Year.

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