Single beds help anyone sleep better?

[Picklingaround79]

Bit of a saddo post for NYE but here goes...

DP and I struggle to sleep in the same bed, despite an upgrade to a superking - as I'm a ridiculously light sleeper due to a chronic pain condition, and he manages to sleep incredibly soundly yet tossing and turning vigourously all night! Bit of a crap combination

Lately we've been sleeping in separate rooms with him in the spare bed. It's been nearly a year now which makes us both quite sad. I'm also in the last few weeks of pregnancy and bonkers with sleep deprivation anyway, so this won't change imminently.

But our NY resolutions this year are to try harder at sleeping together, and we are prepared to throw some money at it.

Can you give me any tips for what has worked for you?

• Single beds pushed together to avoid movement in the night? What brand do you recommend to avoid massive gaps down the middle?
  

• Separate duvets?
  

• Anything else?!
  

Also bit of a straw poll... who else sleeps separately and do you find it has an impact (positive or negative) on your relationship?

Thank you!

Oh and Happy New Year

[scottishdiem]

Depends on how much room you have. You can have two separate beds that can be moved apart most nights (like a hotel kind of thing) if there is room? So you can be in the same room but still in separate beds. You can also get single beds that zip together.

DP and I often do the separate duvet thing as we have the same light/heavy sleeper combo you do combined with epically different body clocks.

We also dont mind sleeping in different rooms if the need arises but more often that not we share the bed. Does your DH feel rested enough? Even though he appears in a deep sleep? Is the mattress good enough for him to truly settle. My DP can has different levels of sleep and can be disturbed from a proper sleep without waking up so feels tired the next day. A better mattress has helped with that.

You could also get a consultation with a sleep clinic to see what they say?

[mayhew]

We have two singles pushed together. We have different mattress preferences and I'm insomniac. Two single duvets under a super King bedspread. Much better.

[hugoagogo]

We have separate duvets and that helps a lot, no money or space for a bigger bed or two singles.
I have had him sleep in a camp bed in the same room and that's worse because I can't poke him when he snores!
If that's not a problem for you though, then two singles or split mattress might help.

[SheepyFun]

I feel your pain! We have a superking frame with separate mattresses (singles) though they are identical - that way I feel DH's movements less. One, thick mattress protector and sheet. Separate duvets (both doubles). It doesn't solve the snoring though, and there are nights when he goes in with DD....

[wherearemymarbles]

Soddng expensive pocket mattres. Think £3000 in the sales. As a minimum 😊

[SheepyFun]

And I'm with hugoagogo, when we've been in separated beds in the same room (when staying elsewhere), DH is too far to poke easily when he snores. We definitely wouldn't have separate beds in the same room.

[0SometimesIWonder]

We have zip 'n link which is, effectively, single beds with bases bolted together and mattresses zipped together. This means we can have softer mattress for me, firmer for OH. And I sleep through any movement from the other side.....

[70ontheinside]

European style: 2 single mattresses in one bed (IKEA), separate duvets. Having to sleep on one mattress and with one duvet is torture!

[MountainDweller]

Similar situation here - I have chronic pain and DH is a snorer! We have a super king frame with separate memory foam mattresses, which we make up with single sheets. We both sleep better that way though there are still arguments about duvet hogging!

[Badcat666]

We don't have room but I ended up getting a superking duvet (for a double bed) and has worked great. I no longer end up freezing when he wraps himself up like a caterpillar. In hindsight I wished we could have afforded a king size bed but we spent a lot of money getting a lovely mattress similar to ones they use in very posh hotels and worked wonders for a good night sleep!

Also we use headphones as we both snore and listen to things to send us off to sleep. (which is handy of one of us falls asleep first)

[statetrooperstacey]

Ear plugs are good, even if it's not noise that's the problem it seems to dull other senses and you get a sort of a white noise effect inside your head. You can hear your own body, heart beat, swooshing noise sort of thing it can be very comforting. If you are worried about hearing children try wearing just one it still helps, you can also hear alarm etc but you still get a nice feeling, it also helps if you are plagued with 'night thoughts' don't know if you get that but I often wake up and all of a sudden my brain is on and full and I can't turn it off.

[borntobequiet]

Many years ago I had a boyfriend whose parents had separate rooms as they liked their own space, had different sleep patterns and so on.
They also seemed to have a very strong and quite romantic relationship. I think they "visited" one another from time to time. I thought it was very civilised and definitely would have followed their example if only I had had the space...

[PinkSwimGoggles]

separate duvets.
you usually can put 2 matresses into a king bedframe - best of both worlds.

[BakeOffBiscuits]

We have a super king size but I don't feel Dh tossing and turning. Could you just need a more solid mattress or bed frame?

[Picklingaround79]

Wow everyone, thanks - lots of ideas here.
Sounds like we should maybe start by phasing it cost-wise. We already have a superking frame, so maybe cheapest first option to try is the single duvets as some of you say that HAS made a difference. I suspect though it's more the tossing and turning (that shakes the bed frame) that is the problem for me.., so we may end up going the full hog and buying two singles.

I already wear earplugs - they certainly do help- agree the 'white noise' effect can be very soothing.

Please keep suggestions coming on 'zip and lock' versus separate and what has worked for you!

Realise at the end of all this, and thousands of pounds poorer, pretty much nothing can stop my husbands farts waking me up but we will cross that extra bridge when we come to it!!!

[Picklingaround79]

Ps - Borntobequiet - think that scenario of separate rooms and 'romantic' visits is probably our best case scenario!! (Mine anyway). Won't happen for the next few years however with two small kids and the only 'romantic visits' being when one of us tries to wake the other with a screaming toddler!

[Picklingaround79]

Ps - Scottishdiem forgot to answer your question - he IS a really deep sleeper, and is hard to wake even with all the moving around. He normally wakes refreshed not tired. We did find a good memory foam mattress helped a bit with all his moving about (so must be a bit of a comfort issue I agree) but not enough to stop waking me up with the bed frame shakes! What I'm keen to see is if two separate mattresses can stop this, without having to purchase two separate beds...