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Feel lost

(2 Posts)
NotQuiteWithItAtAll Sat 31-Dec-16 14:28:12

This could be a long one but I don't know what to do.

I was with ex DP for around 9 years, and in that time we had a beautiful DD. A couple of weeks ago I left, there is someone else. He knows that's why and of course I know what I done was wrong, and to break our family apart like I have maybe I deserve this.

I was miserable being with him for a couple of years, we had the talk last year and I tried to leave but he said he would change. This other guy wasn't on the scene then. He didn't change and then someone came along who made me feel amazing.

The thing is now I'm living with the other guy ex DP is acting like I should be asking permission to see our DD. He doesn't want her staying with me until I've been with other guy for a few months. We've been seeing each other for a year and I totally get his pov about that but he isn't a stranger to our DD, she used to come to my work (me and other guy worked together) so she knows him. We told DD about me not living in the house anymore the other day.

I went to see my family for a few days and he took our DD to a wedding across the other side of the country so I hadn't seen her for a week. The longest I've ever not seen her. I've been the one there for her always every day for the 5 years of her life, working around her school hours whilst her dad got a career had a very active social life whilst I stayed in with our DD. I'd see him for maybe about 7 hours in a whole week if that. So going from that to only being able to have her in his house whilst he's working, I feel is wrong.

He literally had her on Sundays whilst I worked during the day and is now acting like a full time dad when I felt like a single one for at least 4 of them years.

I was suppose to see her today for a bit but he's rang to tell me she wants to go to his mums for the night (she stayed at his dads last night and he went out, so I'm sure he will be out again tonight) and because I have work tomorrow it means I won't see her until Monday. Pretty sure he would have suggested that to her so he can have his night out. And then next week I have to get to theirs every morning to take her to school because he can't start work any later, pick her up stay in the house with her until he comes home from work and then I go back to my new place.
He's also asked me to stay longer on Friday because he has somewhere to be. I'm not a baby sitter I'm her mother! Feels like I'm only allowed to visit when it suits him and I'm needed.

I'm stuck what to do. I can't do this for god knows how many years. I didnt take her with me because I couldn't do that to her or him. She loves her house and whenever any mention of moving came up she'd get really upset. He's now looking at a place for the both of them not too far from where they are now. I feel like I'm losing her and he's punishing me because it's my own fault.

I just wanted to be happy, be the happy mum to our DD and I wasn't with him.

Do I do this to keep things amicable for our DDs sake?

I feel so lost.

understandnothing Sat 31-Dec-16 14:52:13

have you seen a lawyer? I would say you need an appointment asap. You have been the main carer, yes? That goes in your favour as far as I know.

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