Please forgive me if you find I'm drip feeding. I haven't slept much having only found out about 8pm last night.
I returned home from visiting friends to find dh very distressed. Yesterday he picked up his daughter from up north and brought her down to us. While he was picking up his mum (who is also staying with us) dsd told them she had a 15 year old boyfriend. Dsd is 12. She is a vulnerable young lady who attends a special school for students with mental health problems and Autistic Spectrum Disorder. She's only been attending school find September having refused school since the end of Y6. We have had concerns about her use of internet/social media for around 2 years. She was hospitalised 2 years ago for self harming and dh exw told him that she'd found evidence of dsd emailing older men and that messages had been inappropriate - of a sexual nature. Dh wanted to report it and do something at the time but exw persuaded him that due to her fragile state of mind they needed to not report it and he was persuaded.
Fast forward to now. Dsd has virtually no policing of her social media/gadgets use when she is at home with exw. On a number of occasions since the incident I describe above she has posted videos on YouTube where she talks about things no 12 year old should know. She has now created a Facebook account (separate to the one her mum knows about) that we only just found out about. She has also been texting this 15 year old boyfriend who goes to her school and is also autistic.
Dh asked to see her phone and she point blank refused. We police all the children's internet and gadget use while they are here. He managed to get her phone off her and she had a meltdown. When DH read the messaged they were extremely sexually explicit. No revealing photos have been shared but it has been encouraged. His messaged are more explicit than hers but from what I've read she started it.
DH is absolutely distraught. As soon as I got home and he told me we put his mum in charge of the kids so we could talk privately and we made notes on all the occasions leading up to this incident. We have now contacted the police where she lives as she is already known to social services and CAMHS. We are so frustrated that her mum continues to refuse to police her phone/tablet and internet use. The police are going to get back in touch with us either today or Monday.
We're in a mess and don't know what to do. I would much rather she stay with us until this whole sitation is resolved. DSD will hate it but I feel this has now gone far enough and she needs parents who will not only love her but also give her boundaries and protect her (from herself if nothing else). She has very poor self esteem and body image issues and I'm sure she just likes the attention and the nice comments these men have made but it's horrendous.
Any advice/guidance welcome - please help!
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Help! We found inappropriate text messages on dsd's mobile phone.
SheerWill · 31/12/2016 09:47
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.