Mil behaviour

[Abs1979]

Ok. My mother in law has been a nightmare this Christmas and several before but this year has been worse. She owns a small farm and she has been very demanding of my husbands time although he works full time and we have 5, 6 and a 9 year old. She was widowed 2 years ago so we let her keep our dog for company recently she will ask is to have the dog back for an hour and then turn up to get him at 11pm 3-6 days later and no notice when she will tell my children she will be here to see them later and not show up she will call all hours asking us to sort things out from tax to family issues. Am I being unfair? It's my husbands mum and she is alone but all I want is some time time on things my parents are elderly too and my life is always on hold waiting for mother in law days on end with the little ones

[Abs1979]

Mother in law problems in marriage

[Trifleorbust]

Doesn't sound like she is that enamoured by the dog. Did you consult her about this plan?

[pklme]

I'm sure she could have said no to the dog, or return it if the dog was the issue.
She sounds like she hasn't come to grips with everything yet. All the tax etc stuff, it does crop up and need doing. Could you and DH offer to spend one evening a week every week doing things for her, like tax and paperwork sorting our the estate etc, so she doesn't need to ring at odd times? That would be more manageable for you and her, I would think.

[junebirthdaygirl]

It won't be easy for her running a farm on her own especially if she is elderly now. Can she rent it out? Sounds like it's time to make some changes. Think it's normal enough to seek help from your dh with bookwork so the plan suggested above may work, picking a definite time. The whole dog thing sounds messy from both sides so needs a clearer situation. Calling at 11 pm isn't on but maybe she is lonely and needs a bit of a visit earlier. I'm sorry to say this is not going to get easier as parents in old age are a burden sometimes.