It breaks my heart to write that as we've been together 15 years. No kids.
It's just gotten to the point where nothing is fun any more, we seem to make each other miserable. I do love my husband, he's generally a good and kind man but I feel like even if I end up spending the rest of my life alone i would be happier.
He has to have everything his own way all the time. We're on holiday, have been walking around sightseeing all morning (all week in fact, non stop walking) and getting a bus back to our apartment, he wanted to get off a stop earlier and I didn't as my feet are killing, and we'll be doing more walking this afternoon as well so I thought I'd save them for that half a mile as we were on the bus anyway. He gets off a stop before and I wait for him at the main doors of the apartments and he calls me lazy and is in a vile mood, we were going to call to a shop for some milk but he goes charging off without me, he comes back and won't look at me, in a massive sulk, moans about me on and on about the amount of walking I haven't done all holiday which I feel is unfair as we've walked at least six miles everyday, swam loads etc
This is a typical example of his behaviour and it seems so trivial but I don't want to live my life like this any more.
He has a lot of amazing qualities, he's a hard worker and very loyal and generous but his bad qualities of being controlling, and always so negative are just wearing me down.
I can't believe I've gotten to the point where I'm even considering this, can I really be alone forever? Would I be okay with this? Would I be okay with just adopting or fostering kids, or could I have my own with a sperm donor but bring them up alone? I don't know.
I'm so scared of regretting my decision that I stay with him but I'm just so unhappy. He looks like the perfect husband from the outside, maybe it's just me being a terrible wife and I'll be unhappy forever either way?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I think my marriage is over
perrita · 30/12/2016 23:47
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