Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.


(171 Posts)
namechangeforobviousreasonss Fri 30-Dec-16 20:58:24

Ok so I'm the other woman

Yes I know it's wrong, yes I've been cheated on in the past and yes I know I'm the awful person all women hate..I'm not looking for acceptance but I figured the amount of women on this forum surely someone else has been the OW? How did it turn out?

TheWitTank Fri 30-Dec-16 21:00:57

Never have/would be personally, but I'm sure lots have.
Out of interest, why are you the OW? What made you choose to be with someone who has a partner already? It fascinates me.

AuntieStella Fri 30-Dec-16 21:02:20

You know, it doesn't matter one whit whether someone else's story turned out OK.

Nor is it going to help you to invite a flagellation.

But yes, you are selling yourself rather short if you are settling for the crumbs of attention that go with being the OW. Why?

KnittedBlanketHoles Fri 30-Dec-16 21:03:56

Well your fella is a cheat, so how do you think it will turn out? Does the original woman know about you? If not, what lies did her tell her and does it worry you that he is a convincing liar? Can you tell when he's lying to you?

I'd be worried if it were me.

Patriciathestripper1 Fri 30-Dec-16 21:04:16

Why in the whole world would someone choose to go after a married man?? Sorry but I Can't say anything positive to you right now as I've just had someone try and come between my husband and I.
You have no idea the pain you will cause and you will never build happiness over someone else's hurt. Especially if there are children involved. They will never be truly yours.

TheWitTank Fri 30-Dec-16 21:09:34

Oh, just thought of one OW situation I am close to. My DF cheated on my DM with a work colleague. DM figured it out (DF is useless liar and was suddenly very into his looks, dressing nicely/aftershave etc). DM obviously devestated and furious -DF dropped OW like a shitty stick and begged DM to try again. Luckily for him, she did, marriage is now greatly improved after counselling. OW is now married to someone else who was apparently snogging someone else at the local pub the other night (small town!).

Sugarpiehoneyeye Fri 30-Dec-16 21:09:36

Look through the threads OP, feel the pain !
You are worth more, than someone's second choice.

loobyloo1234 Fri 30-Dec-16 21:12:05

Very rarely does it end well name - although I suspect you know that? Why don't you end things before someone gets hurt?

Whosthemummynow Fri 30-Dec-16 21:12:19

you have no idea of the pain you will cause

Well technically its the husband that's causing the pain..... Unless you think the poor men just can't help themselves hmm

AnyFucker Fri 30-Dec-16 21:13:50


Lunar1 Fri 30-Dec-16 21:14:51

How do you want it to turn out?

SparkleShinyGlitter Fri 30-Dec-16 21:15:40

Never have been ow, No way would I ever be the other women

How do you end up shagging someone that has a partner? I'm always curious is it lack of morals/self respect. Plenty of single men out there you know....

What do you want from this thread? A load of ow to tell you it turned out ok for them after there selfish, painful actions caused a lot of people to hurt?

Pagwatch Fri 30-Dec-16 21:16:27

I'm always curious about these threads. They are pretty frequent. I wonder what they are meant to achieve.

TheBadgersMadeMeDoIt Fri 30-Dec-16 21:16:32

Have been the OW. It was a brief moment of weakness that led to an epic shitstorm of pain, lost friendships and regret.

It's never ok. I knew it wasn't ok even then, and can't quite remember what was in my head to make me override my usual values.

If he can't or won't be 100% yours, he's not worth your time.

SandyY2K Fri 30-Dec-16 21:17:53

So because you've been cheated on you think it's okay to be the OW. I'll PM you a link to a forum for OWs. You can hear all their struggles and how lonely they are at Christmas, while MM is with his family.

When Dday comes the OW is chucked away like a used tissue.

The OW is a side piece and is wasting her time, often believing all the future faking.

Purplebluebird Fri 30-Dec-16 21:19:31

I was, but I was 20 and the couple was dating and not living together. She found out and didn't tell until she quit the pill and got pregnant shock I was ditched but they broke up a couple of years later. I am still friends with the guy, but only friends now, and only chat on skype! We both are in happy relationships now.

CarbeDiem Fri 30-Dec-16 21:19:44

I've never been nor would ever be the OW. I don't get why anyone would want to be.
Truthfully do you believe his bullshit? its been over for ages, he doesn't sleep with her and the good old... I'm only there for the kids?
Say he left to be with you, how could you ever trust him? After all he loved his wife once. I couldn't, not in a month of fucking sundays.
The husband may be the one breaking his vows and cheating on his wife but the ow is as much complicit in breaking hearts and causing pain if she knows he is married to another.

Livelovebehappy Fri 30-Dec-16 21:19:47

It's all about morals. I would never ever get involved with someone who is married or in a relationship. I just couldn't cause so much hurt and pain to another human being, and destroy another persons life. And yes, I've had it done to me. In my opinion, anyone who can be OW has absolutely no moral compass.

PurpleDaisies Fri 30-Dec-16 21:20:17

Are you the same OW as yesterday's thread?

TheWitTank Fri 30-Dec-16 21:20:24

I think these threads are about OW lessening their guilt -if lots of people do it, it can't be that bad? Also they want the fairy stories -the he left wife for me, happily ever after. OW are very often insecure and needy.

MummyToThree479 Fri 30-Dec-16 21:21:09

*you have no idea of the pain you will cause

Well technically its the husband that's causing the pain..... Unless you think the poor men just can't help themselves hmm*

Um no, if your shagging a man you know has a partner Your no better than him. Half the pain caused is due to you!

I found out about my DH affair earlier this year, we are now starting divorce proceedings.
Is he now with the ow? Is he fuck, he didn't want her. She was fine to put his cock in now and then and I don't doubt he promised her the moon but he never had any intention of delivering the moon on a stick.

I'd love to know why you ended up shagging a man with a partner? No single man take your fancy? He offered sex and you just couldn't say no? No self respect?

TrippyMcTrapFace Fri 30-Dec-16 21:22:43

Loads of OW outing themselves here the past few days.
Is it because their cheating twat affair partner is at home having a cosy Christmas with his family, or is there a desperate journo or two around?

rainbowstardrops Fri 30-Dec-16 21:23:56

If they can easily lie and cheat to their partner then they can just as easily lie and cheat on you.
Seen it happen.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners Fri 30-Dec-16 21:25:11

I have been the OW, years ago at 17 years old with my first boyfriend, a 29 year old married man. He didn't tell me he was married - in fact he lied and said he was separated and only hadn't sold the marital home because of negative equity.

I fell totally in love with him and by the time he told me he was still married, I had been introduced to his family as his girlfriend and it was all very confusing. His wife found out about us, obviously as he wasn't really trying very hard to hide it, and was devastated.

He left her and moved in with me to a flat, then started to abuse me. Physically, verbally, emotionally, financially and sexually. His wife got revenge by having divorce papers served citing me as co-respondent on my 18th birthday at my parents house. We got engaged. He was still beating and raping me, and controlling every aspect of my life behind closed doors. Wouldn't let me take up my place at university, made me have an abortion, isolated me from all my friends.

He left me, two years later, for a girl who had been in my class at school. They are still together and married now but he is frequently unfaithful to her. He won't let her have children and has brainwashed her into thinking she doesn't want them, when I know from mutual friends that until she met him she had always planned to have kids.

I'm not saying that this will be your experience. I really hope it is not. But be careful, and make sure you have a support system outside your relationship.

ChocolateDoll Fri 30-Dec-16 21:28:27

Are you single?

Usually makes a big difference whether or not the other woman is single or married herself.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: