I just don't love him anymore. I'm so unhappy every single day. In the grand scheme of things he's a good person but he has his bad points. He doesn't interact much with the kids. They are 17, 15 and 10. He is quite passive aggressive in his behaviour, banging about, slamming doors etc if he's annoyed about something. This really goes for my nerves and I feel like a nervous wreck when he's doing this. He's quite controlling with money. He earns 3 times as much as me and is always moaning about what he pays out. He's not interested in going out or doing anything. He gets home from work and flops on the sofa watching telly all night. Which is fine, but I want more from life. I've suggested concerts/cinema and he'll grudgingly come along.
On the other hand he's generous. If I say I need new shoes or clothes for example he will give me the money but a few days later says he's skint and can't afford groceries...my wages pay for the car, a few bills like the eldest ds's phones. Clothes for the kids and every day living.
I'm not even sure all this matters I just don't love him like I used to. Theres a 15 year agw gap and I feel the age difference is maybe catching up with us. I know he will be devastated if I end it. I just want to scream I'm so unhappy. I don't want to be responsible for splitting up our family. Do I just suck it up and get on with it.?