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Upset by Mum's behaviour

(5 Posts)
Cloud9889 Wed 28-Dec-16 19:30:17

Ok, so it's Christmas which probably is not helping but this has been going on for a while now and I am just not sure how to deal with it..
My mum's behaviour recently has baffled me.
She sniggers at some of the things I say in quite a mean/bullyish type way. I (and other members of the family) feel often like she is judging me. She sometimes gives me compliments but they sound so fake and, if I trust my feelings, I really don't think they are truthful or honest.
I really want to be close to my mum but she is making it so hard!
She makes so many flippant comments towards me however she is not very directly rude to me so it makes me question whether I am just being over sensitive or not.
She is so difficult to be around and I just feel so on edge when I am in her company its so strange as I really don't want it to be like this,
As she is not often directly rude to me I am not sure how to deal with the bad vibes / comments she makes towards me.... do I just have to accept that maybe she just doesn't like me. I try so hard to be a good daughter but sometimes it feels like I am just not good enough or worthy of her.

pklme Wed 28-Dec-16 20:00:35

Well maybe not, and maybe you never will be. First step is to stop trying to please, it will never be enough and you shouldn't need to.

Greentorch Fri 30-Dec-16 10:19:07

She sounds quite a lot like my mum. Shes not like this with my siblings, so not sure they agree with me. Since a bad Christmas Ive been reading about narcissistic mothers and it seems to describe my mum. Could this be the case for your mum too? Sadly seems like theres a lot of them about. I felt better reading about it, knowing i wasnt mad and facing the fact: she wont change. But i can keep my distance. I dont want her carrying on the golden child/scapegoat dynamic with my children & her other grandchildren.

My mum is hard to be around like yours. Take a step back from her, I promise you'll feel better.

Ilovecaindingle Fri 30-Dec-16 12:22:09

If you have gotten to adulthood and your relationship is difficult then I wouldn't be expecting that to change. .
Having a close relationship with her would be nice but it isn't gonna happen. Accept she is hard work but stop trying to change yourself hoping it will change her. It won't.

BonnyScotland Sun 01-Jan-17 22:32:11

trust your instincts x

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