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Would you want to know if someone had slept with a person you dislike?

(9 Posts)
PeteSwotatoes Tue 27-Dec-16 19:33:57

Am seeing a new guy casually, dating but nothing sexual has happened.

Yesterday he dropped a bit of a bombshell.

A woman in my year at medical school, who is very fucking unstable, saw us together. Turns out she fancies him, so she told him I have old self harm scars on my arms in order to try to scare him away.

Woman is 45, I'm 26 and the guy is 25.

This woman strongly dislikes me. We were friends and she turned on me for absolutely no reason and accused me of stealing her friends. All of it baseless.

She competed with me from the start, buying the same stethoscope as me and making a huge deal out of it, saying she wouldn't be "out done" by me. I did nothing to encourage this.

She has been messaging this guy saying she's suicidal and that everyone in her life is an arsehole.

She described me as her arch enemy, to him. It's all fucking bizarre. She's twice my age and acting about 13.

I know he's spent time with her. My dilemma is, do I ask if they've slept together? Do I need to know? Would it change how I feel about dating him (probably)?

I just wondered what you would do. Leave it, or ask.

Thanks.

Figure17a Tue 27-Dec-16 19:42:41

I don't think whether they've slept together should be your main concern. She's telling him all this stuff about you, describing you as an arch enemy and he's still communicating with her. That's what needs to change imo. If he's happy with that situation he's not good enough for you

BubblingUp Tue 27-Dec-16 19:46:00

You have bigger problems than if these two people slept together. What difference does it make? This woman is conducting a smear campaign on you. I'd probably dump the man just to stay well clear of her.

sonjadog Tue 27-Dec-16 19:46:00

I'd ignore her and get on with my own relationship with this man. His past is his and what he has or hasn't done is nothing to do with you. I don't understand why you would care about what contact he had had with her before you met him.

offside Tue 27-Dec-16 19:48:52

If you are in your foundation years and have GMC registration I would seriously consider reporting her. She's unstable, is in danger of bringing the profession into disrepute and could possibly be detrimental to patient safety if her mental health extends further than this episode.

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs Tue 27-Dec-16 19:51:28

You're relationship isn't with her but with him so I'd be wondering why the hell he was still in touch with her. If it's still very casual between you and him then frankly I'd be thinking twice about a relationship.

She does sound somewhat unhinged and I'd probably be avoiding her and anyone who had anything to do with her like the plague.

leaveittothediva Tue 27-Dec-16 19:55:08

All that aside. Is this woman allowed a qualified doctor, Because she sounds psychotic

scaryclown Tue 27-Dec-16 19:58:41

Be careful!! She has already made you consider they may have slept together!.

Mental she may be, but she is being successfully manipulative. Do not engage. Shes a fucking nut.

Weirdly I worked with a nut like this. She told people I got on with that people thought we were having sex..to try to cool off the contact, she tried to say any conversation i had with anyone was because i was sleeping with them, faked reports about me, told rumpurs that other people were married to each other just to be able to laugh at them making the mistake later.

She was so obsessed with thinking i was 'beating' jer that she would even ask for acess to it programmes i had to do my job even though she wouldnt need them just because she attached status to them. Bonkers. Total Bonkers.

tbh if mine had committed suicide....she always talked about it as a way of getting her partner to buy her flowers ffs.. lots of people would have breathed a sigh of relief.

i actually think you have a duty to report her bullying and instability its mega control weirdoness.

I suspect she is telling him the suicide thing to attempt make him feel he needs to do what she wants or she might kill herself..and then use that to put a gap of guilt between you two.

mine would say that guys i got on with looked like my son, brother, father etc to try to put a weird gap between us.

dont believe a fucking word. shes mental.

AnyFucker Tue 27-Dec-16 20:15:17

Is he a doctor too ?

You all sound as bad as each other

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