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Shadow Relationship. Please help me understand what is going on here.

(1 Post)
Sacherinez Tue 27-Dec-16 18:58:43

This will be long, but will summarise and try not to drip feed. Am deeply in love with my partner. He is wonderful, extraordinarily intelligent and very handsome. We have been together 5 years, most of that time we have lived together. We are not married and no children. He is 38 and I am 45, so time is running out for DC (although we are both happy to not have any).

We are both very homely and have few friends. Both introverted, but him more so. I have recently discovered a few facts and I am not quite sure what they mean.

DP has a close male confidante. I would go as far as saying this is his best friend. I have never met this guy. I mentioned this to DP, and he extended an invitation for me to join them one day for dinner, but I declined as it was clear DP did it only because I asked. They have been best friends for 4 years or so.

I also recently discovered that a few years ago DP confided in said friend about a female friend he almost cheated with. He discussed this female friend at length and shared all the emotional details. Nothing further happened with the OW. It was brief (few weeks) and not physical. The female friend is/was an outsider, unbeknownst to any of his circle.

The almost cheating is clearly not great, but I can't shake the feeling that DP is keeping me away from his friends deliberately. I don't feel fully integrated into that part of his life and I am starting to get paranoid that this is part of a wider plan. FWIW, he very readily introduced the female friend to said social circle.

Grateful for any insights as to what is going on here.

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