Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Husbands not come home - not answering phone

(268 Posts)
unicornpoopoop Tue 27-Dec-16 10:05:18

Husband went out last night. Still not home. Not answering his phone or texts. Now what? Just wait and get increasingly stressed out/pissed off...?

Rainbowqueeen Tue 27-Dec-16 10:08:44

Any friends or family you can contact? Phone battery might be flat
Can you check bank account to see if he has withdrawn cash?
It's a really horrible thing to make you worry so much, tell him off once he is home and sober again

Thattimeofyearagain Tue 27-Dec-16 10:09:35

Has he done this before?

Anyhoooo Tue 27-Dec-16 10:11:06

Is this out of character?

6demandingchildren Tue 27-Dec-16 10:11:26

Where did he say he was going?

PurpleDaisies Tue 27-Dec-16 10:11:28

Is he on Facebook? Posted anything overnight?

Who was he with? Could you text them?

unicornpoopoop Tue 27-Dec-16 10:13:16

He's not on any social media. His phone is ringing though so not flat.

He can be thoughtless and stay out later than planned without letting
Me know but this is a new low for him.

Not got any numbers For the people he was out with...

Fadingmemory Tue 27-Dec-16 10:14:14

If you can, go out for the day to do something you and your DC will enjoy if you have them. Nothing worse than waiting in for a a totally irresponsible, uncaring man. Unlikely he has had an accident or emergency services would have contacted you. I went through this so often with a man everyone thought was wonderful when he was a self centred, selfish little boy.

unicornpoopoop Tue 27-Dec-16 10:16:31

Fadingmemory that's what I keep telling myself. If he'd been in an accident or been arrested, I would have been alerted by now so yep just being a shit husband. I can't believe the selfishness of him sometimes. And I'm sure when he finally strolls in and gets an ear full, he won't see what the problem is.

Seriously how hard is it to send a single text...

Thattimeofyearagain Tue 27-Dec-16 10:25:49

Them don't be there when he strolls in. Go out for the day. Don't leave a note. Do you have any children?

Fadingmemory Tue 27-Dec-16 10:27:46

His behaviour will be vindicated in his eyes if when he returns you are anxiously waiting for him, the loyal wife. Honestly, go out and carry on with your day. It will have far more effect on him if you are not home. Do not contact him again. Clearly sending a text is too difficult. Go shopping, walking, meeting friends or whatever. It is highly unlikely he is ill or injured. Does he have form for getting drunk and falling asleep somewhere? I am sorry you are going through this - I had the same for years.

unicornpoopoop Tue 27-Dec-16 10:28:26

Yes I've got children and unfortunately one has a play date planned so I have to wait in for the friend. Will try and think of somewhere to take them all once they've arrived

MsMarvel Tue 27-Dec-16 10:28:36

If he had been arrested you wouldn't necessarily be notified? Doesnt he need to agree to that?

They don't phone someone's wife as standard when they arrest an adult.

StealthPolarBear Tue 27-Dec-16 10:29:38

Where did he go and how was he meant to be getting back?

Kr1stina Tue 27-Dec-16 10:30:01

Do you have kids with him ?

Do you have family or friends you could go and stay with for a couple of days ?

Kr1stina Tue 27-Dec-16 10:30:51

Sorry didn't see your latest post that you have kids and a visitor due

Aussiemum78 Tue 27-Dec-16 10:34:05

Postpone the play date and plan a trip away for a couple of days. Turn your phone off. Give him a taste of his own inconsiderate medicine

unicornpoopoop Tue 27-Dec-16 10:34:58

He went into town with some friends. He didn't tell me he would be staying out. He never stays out.

The place he was going closed at 3am.

How would I find out if he's been arrested? I thought he would have asked them to call me if he had, but who knows..

kilmuir Tue 27-Dec-16 10:37:01

Local hotels???

unicornpoopoop Tue 27-Dec-16 10:38:48

He wouldn't pay for a hotel, he'd be more likely to sleep on a bench

Bluntness100 Tue 27-Dec-16 10:40:04

Could he have stayed with a friend? He may have been plastered and just stayed at a mates and passed out drunk.

ParrotPudding Tue 27-Dec-16 10:40:32

Do you know the names of the people he went out with? Could you look them up on social media at all? Seems very strange. What is your gut suspicion?

unicornpoopoop Tue 27-Dec-16 10:40:58

Bluntness I'm hoping that's the case. But thought his phone would have woken at least one of them up by now

Corneliussnitch Tue 27-Dec-16 10:42:10

You can call the custody suite at the police station to find out if he has been arrested, hopefully not.

unicornpoopoop Tue 27-Dec-16 10:42:53

Parot - I don't use social media so can't find them that way*
I think either he's crashed at theirs... But then I don't get why he wouldn't have told me that

Or... I'm trying not to think about the fact he could have gone home with someone else

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: