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It's not him it's me

(4 Posts)
Figure17a Mon 26-Dec-16 23:07:18

Dh is a perfectly nice man, we've been married 25 years, two fantastic teen boys and a very nice life.

But God he annoys me, poor man can't get anything right. He's dull (so am I) he's got old and fat (I haven't!) there never seems to be any joy or enthusiasm over anything. Maybe it was always like this but lately I can't shake this feeling that there must be more to life. I find myself wishing he'd be horrid so I can justify leaving.

Is there any way back?

TheSparrowhawk Mon 26-Dec-16 23:08:40

There may be, if you talk to him and try to reconnect. But he doesn't have to be horrible for you to leave, you can just leave.

sorryoldwoman Mon 26-Dec-16 23:14:49

I get the impression too many people think men are disposable ! If he's decent to you and love is still there then don't give up. Could you find something you both enjoy doing together? I don't mean sex but I guess that isnt so great either? Just a nice evening walk together would be a great start.

Sn0tnose Mon 26-Dec-16 23:25:43

As Sparrow said, you can just leave without him being horrible to you. You don't need to justify your happiness to anyone.

But if you're thinking whether there is a way back, maybe ask yourself what you're bringing to the relationship? If you say that you're just as dull as he is, is there any way he could be thinking the same about you? Talk to him. Give him the chance to work on his marriage and make sure you work at it just as hard. And then, if it doesn't work and you're still unhappy, you'll never wonder 'what if'

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