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(15 Posts)
peachy2410 Mon 26-Dec-16 09:11:57

DD and I have been rocky since Feb. He goes off on one esp when drunk. Not physically abusive but verbal. His family upset me in Feb by laughing openly at me while I was upset. It always come up in arguments - not by me! But it affects the relationship with DD as I don't want to see them much and won't let them see her without me - they allow dogs to jump at her and lick face etc, smoke near her so I try and stop it. Due to DD's dad's verbal short fuse and alcohol problems and the fact that he threatened to abduct her once, I worry so much about him seeing her alone! Last night I was settling DD in bed and he was drunk and talking about me stopping his mother seeing DD- I've not ever. I've even invited her round she just doesn't come and we see her briefly once every 3 weeks. He then went to kitchen, filled a bowl with water and threw it over me (and little one) in bed! I told him to get out. He refused so I left with lo to my parents. Do end it now? He text me saying he wants unsupervised weekend access and to be free to take DD to his mother's whenever. I have no idea what to do sad

AnyFucker Mon 26-Dec-16 09:14:29

End it for good. Don't subject yourself or your dd to any further abuse. You have somewhere to go...use it.

Refuse unsupervised access. Let him take you to court ( he probably won't bother, he just wants to terrorise you)

Allalonenow Mon 26-Dec-16 09:19:51

Start keeping a very detailed diary of every occasion of abuse, anger, threats etc. Write up yesterday's event with the water straight away.

I feel so sorry for you, him and his family sound dreadful.

Costacoffeeplease Mon 26-Dec-16 09:42:17

It shouldn't even be a question, it's already ended, you just have to sort out how to do it now. What's your financial/housing situation?

peachy2410 Mon 26-Dec-16 09:45:21

Easy from my perspective I guess. I can stay at my parents. He can stay in our rented house. I feel guilty for making him homeless and taking his daughter but I can't do this anymore. I pay for everything so money not an issue. I'm lucky from that perspective. Just so worried about contact sad

MrsBertBibby Mon 26-Dec-16 09:52:38

He did this to himself.

Write everything down, add to it every time you remember something.

Let him go to court if he wants over contact.

Get your possessions and your daughter's out of the house ASAP.

Costacoffeeplease Mon 26-Dec-16 09:55:16

Why would you feel guilty? Do you not feel angry at him? I bloody would

ChuckSnowballs Mon 26-Dec-16 09:55:51

I agree, write it all down, to the very last thing, mental as well as physical and all the threats of kidnap. And never be in his company again.

What a cunt.

Joysmum Mon 26-Dec-16 11:44:41

And if you're in the tenancy too then write to your LL giving notice. You do not want to be tied to him financially.

Abricot1993 Mon 26-Dec-16 11:58:48

You did not know if the water was boiling or not when he threw it over you. Make sure you remember to record that too. No one like that should have unsupervised access to a child. Well done on moving yourself to a place of safety. You should not feel guilty or take on any responsibility for HIS actions.

Take care. Start afresh without him.

Guavaf1sh Mon 26-Dec-16 12:05:53

You can't stay with him now. It's not safe. He's a drunk who resorts to violence. End it. Sorry

AlabasterSnowball Mon 26-Dec-16 12:23:01

You feel guilty about him, but you let him treat your DD like that?
You need to get your priorities sorted

peachy2410 Mon 26-Dec-16 13:08:08

I didn't let it, that's the point. I removed us both from the situation.

AnyFucker Mon 26-Dec-16 13:13:57

Why would you be making him "homeless" if he is in your (joint ?) rented house ?

caroldecker Mon 26-Dec-16 13:16:13

Of course you end it now. Are you married? If so, need to see a solicitor ASAP.
Is the tenancy in your name? If so, give notice. It would be advisable for your future credit score to keep paying the rent until the end of the notice period.
Can you get someone to accompany you to the house to get your and DD belongings?
In regards to contact, let him get a solicitor and go to court.

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