Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Another day, still a bastard!

(138 Posts)
FuckDaddyPig Mon 26-Dec-16 08:58:51

I was woken up this morning by my DP asking me what the time was my answer "I dont know' just opening my eyes about to reach for my phone (eyes still closed) then I hear him say 'forget it ill just go all the way downstairs to find out'.
Me- ' its ok wait there, its half 8'.
He walks out with our baby ( me not realising WW3 has started in his head), and downstairs to make a bottle. I follow him (im awake now) I start to clean up (Christmas bomb site) my DD comes down, so I start to talk to her about Christmas, can hear him in the kitchen mumbling something. Then comes into the front room and asks me why 'I didn't tell him the time, and I always say I dont know and it pisses him off' he says.
Me- Oh ok im sorry I hadn't opened my eyes yet, so my first response was to say I dont know (whilst reaching for my phone).

Well I guess that's not good enough as he walked off calling me a "fucking cunt" and usual other names. My DD is helping me tidy whilst listening to this. I just apologised to her and carried on him still in the kitchen mumbling away obscenities towards me. I ignore and carry on though now im shaking like a crazy person. (He went back to bed) he will probably not come to my mums for boxing day dinner and I have to explain to people why, this will just make him look like an even more horrible man to everyone than already!
We had a great day yesterday. Well everyone else did mine was busy I dont think I sat down once hmm.
Then today he wakes up in this foup mood, and he says its because I didn't telp him the time?!

Does that sound normal to you?
It sounds batshit to me?
I know the real reason he is pissed off because he was woken up by our DD again. His thoughts are he expects a lie in. Personally I cant remember the last time I layed in (3kids) confused I leave him in bed most mornings as im taking the kids to school, he sometimes goes back to bed during the day time for hours.

I dont even know why im writing this. Im just hurt, shaky and confused. We have a great day then wake up to Mr Hyde sad

TeenageCentaurMortificado Mon 26-Dec-16 09:01:10

Leave the miserable cunt at home today. Go enjoy yourself then think about leaving him permanently!

Areshole

ElspethFlashman Mon 26-Dec-16 09:01:13

How sad that your daughter has to listen to this.

cansu Mon 26-Dec-16 09:01:56

He is a tosser. Wait for him to say he isnt coming say great that means I can have a nice time and then do so. Then have a long think about how to get rid of him next year.

Belleblush Mon 26-Dec-16 09:04:27

It's definitely tiredness but a sense of entitlement to a lie in for some reason. No excuse for the way he spoke to you, especially in front of your daughter. I wouldn't be happy if he didn't come with me to your mums. He sounds like s silky teenager who needs to get a grip.

Belleblush Mon 26-Dec-16 09:04:45

Sulky

Carollocking Mon 26-Dec-16 09:06:52

How can he go bed again in day or is he not working ?

1DAD2KIDS Mon 26-Dec-16 09:07:11

That is sad and sounds like respect has broken down which is never good. Having a baby in the house can wear people down and can put pressure on a relationship. Was relations between you like this before the baby?

OohMavis Mon 26-Dec-16 09:08:03

Does he work? He sounds like a lazy cunt.

What exactly do you get out of this relationship?

ChuckSnowballs Mon 26-Dec-16 09:10:41

Explain to people that he is not there because he is a nasty person and the sooner you can you will be leaving him. Does anyone know of anywhere you can stay for a while?

chitofftheshovel Mon 26-Dec-16 09:10:52

No, that is not normal. Not in the slightest. No wonder you're shaking. Any chance you can stay at your mums house tonight.

I'm afraid you may have to think long and hard about what good you get out of this relationship. Also bear in mind that you don't want your children to think that that is an acceptable way to speak to someone.

Please take good care of yourself, can you tell your mum about it?

AnyFucker Mon 26-Dec-16 09:11:39

He is the cunt

Why are you with him ?

FantasticButtocks Mon 26-Dec-16 09:12:55

He sounds very unpleasant indeed. Are you intending to stay with this person for the rest of your life? A man who thinks its ok to speak to you in this way, and in front of your dd too?

You must set your own standards of what you will accept from a partner. This behaviour would be well below that standard for me, and I simply couldn't tolerate it.

He thinks he can say anything he wants to you. And he wants to call you names because you've annoyed him. If that is not ok with you, you need to make him aware.

I'd be relieved he's not coming with you to your mums. At least you can enjoy the day.

Only you can decide if you want to be in a relationship with someone who thinks it's fine to behave like this. Personally, I wouldn't.

LiveLifeWithPassion Mon 26-Dec-16 09:14:33

I think you have to expect that he's not going to go to your mums.
Just start getting ready and go to your mums and have a nice day without him.

He sounds horrible. Why couldn't he find out the time himself? Why was it down to you? It's just an excuse to be nasty.

mumonashoestring Mon 26-Dec-16 09:14:34

Selfish shit, he's basically punishing you for having a nice time instead of leaping out of bed and rushing the kids downstairs so that Princess Hairy can sleep in like a teenage boy. Especially if he didn't exactly wear himself out yesterday. Leave him at home for the day, you're unlikely to miss him if he's being an arse anyway. If anyone asks just tell them the truth - he can't handle all the strain of watching you make Christmas dinner then getting up when his family does hmm You need to have a stern talk with him at some point (when he's not tired and therefore doesn't have the excuse) about the way he treats you and make it clear that you won't tolerate it if it continues.

FuckDaddyPig Mon 26-Dec-16 09:15:30

We have 3 children. How can the baby tire him out when its always me who gets up with the children. Once in a blue moon I will not stir (this is when this happens).

I have gone through every logical thing in my head as to why he's like this. I just feel he feels he comes above everyone even our children.
It feels like I never have any support. I get angry in my head when ue says he's tired all the time cuz I feel like a zombie but I carry on and get on with being a mum. I think its boredom for him. Yes he usually works apart from xmas weeks. He works 2 hours a day (he says this also makes him tired) when I ask him to help with the kids or something.

Im definitely wanting out! I am going to my mums im leaving him there im going to take my children out on their new bikes and hope noone falls off halo

He's never had any respect for me. He shows no love apart from smothering affection. I also have PND he doesn't help!

FuckDaddyPig Mon 26-Dec-16 09:18:05

I have no where to go there is just my mum, but her boyfriend is quite unwelcoming. My DP will turn up there everyday though. I know he wouldn't leave me alone. He'll say im fucking with the kids because their not in their own home etc

MoreGilmoreGirls Mon 26-Dec-16 09:18:41

He sounds awful. Does he work? Support you with the kids? Do anything round the house?
What is his contribution or is he just a shit? Sorry he's treating you like this. Your DD should not have to hear that. What are you options? Do you want to leave him?

FuckDaddyPig Mon 26-Dec-16 09:19:22

No matter whn I talk or what.mood he's in or what I say. Its never him

Frouby Mon 26-Dec-16 09:19:35

You need him to leave.

He is a vile man.

Have boxing day at your mums while he packs his stuff and fucks off. If he won't go get someone to have a word. Preferably a big bloke.

Then get on with enjoying Christmas without this vile, abusive lazy fucker cluttering up your lounge.

His problem will be that your dcs have been the focus of your attention and that you haven't been miserable. Cunt.

Greenandmighty Mon 26-Dec-16 09:20:01

You're the mother of his children, his wife. You bloody well deserve respect no matter how tired or stressed he is. He's a terrible role model for DD if he's insulting you in her presence. I'd give him the cool treatment all day then sit him down and spell out your condition for him remaining in the relationship: to refrain from using foul language and show you respect. You deserve better OP. X

LegoCaltrops Mon 26-Dec-16 09:20:44

He sounds determined to be miserable & take you all down with him. Why is it your responsibility to be on call to tell him the time - does he not have a phone / clock by the bed? When people are drunk, stressed, or in unguarded moments, they tell you, through their words & actions, who they are really are. This is what he is doing now, pay attention to what he is saying. I bet your kids are. Don't make them grow up (as I did) thinking it's ok to have to accept this kind of dysfunctional dynamic in a relationship.

FuckDaddyPig Mon 26-Dec-16 09:20:50

Yes I want to leave. Well I want him to leave.

MoreGilmoreGirls Mon 26-Dec-16 09:20:58

Sorry x post. You need a plan to get this man out of your life. Can you get him out of the house? Who's name is it in?

Frouby Mon 26-Dec-16 09:21:05

He is the window cleaner isn't he? The one who works 2 hours a day and doesn't tip his wages up?

What the fuck are you doing with him still?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now