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New bf hasn't wished me happy Xmas

(183 Posts)
Lonelyatxmas Sun 25-Dec-16 18:37:15

We've been dating for about eight weeks. Had a bit of a blip when he found out I'd kissed someone else between our first and second date and he backed off after having initially come on strong.

I explained that it was a huge mistake and we got through it and are still seeing each other. I realised how much I like him and was massively relieved.

Had a lovely chat Thursday then I whatsapped him yesterday to wish him a happy Xmas but no reply. I'm a bit hurt. Should I forget about him?

HollyBollyBooBoo Sun 25-Dec-16 18:39:17

Assuming he's not ill, in hospital or dead then it's a pretty poor start to a relationship if he can't even say Happy Christmas!

I'd leave it and see if he ever makes contact again.

Lonelyatxmas Sun 25-Dec-16 18:41:49

We've got a date planned next week. And going to a NYE party together. Should I cancel if I don't hear from him today?

category12 Sun 25-Dec-16 18:45:08

Ugh, what? You've had to "work through" having kissed someone else between your 1st and 2nd date? Doesn't that strike you as worrying? I mean, we are talking about dates, right?

sonjadog Sun 25-Dec-16 18:45:12

Might just be busy with family. I would leave it for now.

madgingermunchkin Sun 25-Dec-16 18:56:46

You had one date. You shouldn't have to "work through" having kissed someone else, it's none of his business.

You've had a lucky escape, run like hell.

Lonelyatxmas Sun 25-Dec-16 19:00:17

Well it's a little more complicated category as we were flirting for ages before he finally asked me out and I know from a friend that he's been in love with me for over a year.

That's why it's so disappointing that he's done a vanishing act today.

But maybe he's just busy with family as sonjadog says and is assuming that since we spoke on Xmas eve and have already made a next date, doesn't need to be in touch til then. I don't know. Feels like I'm clutching at straws a bit.

Lonelyatxmas Sun 25-Dec-16 19:02:44

Also we DTD after the first date blush

expatinscotland Sun 25-Dec-16 19:03:07

You know what? It should be fun just now. It shouldn't be work and drama. If it is, it's a wrong relationship. I'd dump.

Lonelyatxmas Sun 25-Dec-16 19:03:22

Or rather I should say, on the first date

Lonelyatxmas Sun 25-Dec-16 19:05:07

I know expat. And it is really fun, he makes me laugh so much and we have an amazing time together. It's just today really. I thought he'd say happy Xmas and am disappointed that he hasn't.

PigletWasPoohsFriend Sun 25-Dec-16 19:06:01

Assuming he's not ill, in hospital or dead then it's a pretty poor start to a relationship if he can't even say Happy Christmas!

Tbf it's a poor start to a relationship if you kiss other people wink

category12 Sun 25-Dec-16 19:09:19

It's not really - you're not responsible for whatever the intensity of his feelings or the length of time prior to dating he has claimed such feelings. You've only just started dating - it's odd and concerning that you're already 'the guilty party' for not treating it as seriously as he wants you to. I just think it's well dodgy to have to 'work through' something like that.

And now the disappearing act - I predict the hot & cold treatment, and you soon won't know which way is up. Guard up, chook.

Lonelyatxmas Sun 25-Dec-16 19:09:46

YY piglet. It was a big mistake on my part. And he has been really understanding although he was hurt obviously. I was just really confused about this other bloke at the time but the minute I kissed him I knew it meant nothing. To be fair, I had been single for a while until both of them decided to ask me out!

category12 Sun 25-Dec-16 19:10:20

And sex doesn't equal now we're serious and monogamous.

LotsoNumbers Sun 25-Dec-16 19:12:12

Sex doesn't mean you owe him a serious relationship. Sounds like he's trying to mess with your head with his blowing hot and cold. Nobody is too busy for a text

Lonelyatxmas Sun 25-Dec-16 19:13:19

I'm just wondering whether I'm being a drama lama or whether to end it now

BeyonceRiRiMadonnna Sun 25-Dec-16 19:23:37

OP I certainly wouldn't be cutting him off just yet, I'm a 3 strikes and you're out person, maybe a sucker for punishment, but we all don't function/think the same etc.!

Yes I do think you are being a bit off a drama lama......I woke up this morning to loads of Merry Christmas messages, I've only just replied,
1. I just wasn't in the mood to respond and
2. I was cooking;
3. I went on a hike;
4. I was eating, showering!

It's that time of year when we are all busy with our loved ones, hopefully he texts back, but even if he doesn't see what happens over the next 24 hours. RELAX and STEP AWAY FROM MUMSNET!

TokenGinger Sun 25-Dec-16 19:52:39

Tbf it's a poor start to a relationship if you kiss other people

I'm sorry, I don't agree. One date does not equal exclusivity. I've been doing online dating previously where I've been on dates with a few people in a short period of time and if I felt to kiss them, I did.

Also no, I don't think you're being a drama llama. One poster just said she wasn't in the mood to respond. If a guy who's "madly in love with you" isn't in the mood to wish you a happy Christmas, he doesn't care for you as much as he proclaims.

Hellooooitsme Sun 25-Dec-16 19:54:33

Did you speak on Thursday or yesterday? I'm not sure from what you've posted.

Lonelyatxmas Sun 25-Dec-16 19:56:04

I've been thinking maybe he's trying to tell me something by not texting.

AmberEars Sun 25-Dec-16 19:56:31

I wouldn't end it now just because of no text - I'd go on the date next week and see how it goes.

Lonelyatxmas Sun 25-Dec-16 19:57:47

Helloooo We spoke on the phone Thursday then had a text conversation on Friday.

Lonelyatxmas Sun 25-Dec-16 19:59:37

*text on Friday and then a brief whatsapp exchange on xmas eve

Lonelyatxmas Sun 25-Dec-16 20:04:46

Sorry, I realised I wasn't very clear. So it was:

Phone convo on Thursday
Text exchange on Friday
WhatsApp on Friday (1 text from him to say looking forward to seeing me next week, I replied that I was looking forward to it too)

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