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Anyone else totally alone for Christmas?

(55 Posts)
SpaceKnickers Sun 25-Dec-16 08:06:55

I have:

2 aunts
1 uncle
5 cousins (all with partners/kids)

And I'm not in contact with any of them at all on account of my terribly abusive childhood. My father is a paedophile who tortured me. All his relatives took his side over me, believing it's impossible that he could do what I accused him of. My d 'm' never bonded with me and walked out when I was a small child & her side of the family are all raving narcs with their own severe problems, which leaves my poor brother, who ten years ago had a nervous breakdown and cut himself off from everyone. So I have absolutely no-one this Christmas, or any other Christmas for that matter. It's more than a bit sad to lose your entire family.

rosesandcashmere Sun 25-Dec-16 08:09:34

Hi Space, I didn't want to read and run. I feel so very fortunate to not be in that situation and my heart goes out to you. You'll be in my thoughts today, for all the good that does; but please be kind to yourself flowers

Cakeycakecake Sun 25-Dec-16 08:10:48

Oh this breaks my heart. I really want to give you a hug. I hope you're good to yourself today and every other xx

nearlyteatime101 Sun 25-Dec-16 08:11:13

Sorry to hear this you have my sympathy. Having spent christmases alone in the past, I know it is a uniquely lonely experience. Have you got anything planned for today that you wouldn't do on an average day?

Ladywithababy1 Sun 25-Dec-16 08:11:54

You're in my thoughts and prayers today - truly hope you can find some peace.

AwaywiththePixies27 Sun 25-Dec-16 08:12:23

Didn't want to read and run either.

Be kind to yourself today. flowers

SpaceKnickers Sun 25-Dec-16 08:20:11

Awww thank you people, you're cheering me already! I have a purring cat in my lap for a festive cuddle and I'm about to have another cuppa and raid the posh biscuits fsmile

I have no special plans, shall I don my hard-hat if I tell you I was thinking of catching up with my laundry today?

One Christmas day I'd like to fill my house with other lonely unintentional singles but I haven't met any yet!

rosesandcashmere Sun 25-Dec-16 08:25:06

I've been alone before and done the laundry! But instead, may I recommend finishing those biscuits off and watching whatever you fancy on the tv whilst napping sporadically? smile

Runningissimple Sun 25-Dec-16 08:32:37

Gosh - that's tough! Biscuits and tea sound good! Do laundry, do what you want - Christmas is such an excluding day for a festival that's supposed to be about warmth and open hearted mess...

Love to you and to all of us feeling it a bit today xx

Runningissimple Sun 25-Dec-16 08:34:17

Open heartedness! Though open hearted mess might be better! Browse kittens on the internet and fantasise about adopting them grin that's what i do sometimes blush

Apple1976 Sun 25-Dec-16 08:39:08

I hope you have yourself a nice day whatever you decide to do. I think animals often give much more love than humans .. so you won't be alone with your lovely cat there to give you company. Enjoy the posh biscuits. Xxx

BlackCelebration Sun 25-Dec-16 08:59:29

I wish you a very merry Christmas with fabulous kitty and fabulous biscuits! May your day be bonny and bright fsmile

timelytess Sun 25-Dec-16 09:01:58

Thinking of you. I'm sorry you had to go through so much. Have a pleasant day (get the laundry done, that's what I call a win) and I hope that by next Christmas some of the unintentional singles have come into your life.

Esker Sun 25-Dec-16 09:16:51

Merry Christmas! I'm raising my cup of tea to you. Hope you have a relaxing day and treat yourself to lovely indulgences winebrewfsmileflowers

BinRaidingRaccoon Sun 25-Dec-16 09:17:09

Merry Christmas to you and your cat!

And well done for having got away from them.

Enjoy your posh biscuits!

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks Sun 25-Dec-16 09:18:08

I've normally been alone at Christmas which never bothered me because then I could do what I fancied when I fancied, but this year I actually have an invite to xmas dinner with an old friend's family. I've known him a long time but never met them so it's quite exciting. But it's stirred up feelings that I've suppressed for years...why have none of my relatives and friends ever invited me to spend xmas with them?

I have an elderly dad and 3 half brothers, and although we aren't a close family it would be fun to spend time with 2 of the brothers. One especially does the whole family thing with my SIL, neices and their partners so surely they could fit one more round the table (which is whayt my friend's parents have done). This is why years ago I went into a defensive "I don't celebrate christmas" mode because it was depressing otherwise; it's shit wanting to do the whole traditional xmas thing and not being able to.

happychristmasbum Sun 25-Dec-16 09:26:41

Happy Christmas Knickers

Agree with PP - lots of naps and doing small nice things for yourself. Do you have time to make a life plan for yourself - a short, medium and long term plan?

You know that being alone today is a million times better than still being in contact with your abusive family could ever be so try to be grateful to be apart from them rather than sad. flowers

arthriticfingers Sun 25-Dec-16 13:08:37

Christmas thoughts
I have spent many Christmases alone doing the tree and dinner just for me.
It was shit but a million times better than my dreadful family.
Hope you have a lovely Christmas day with your friend.

comewoowoowithme Sun 25-Dec-16 13:13:46

Hi Space, I too am nc with all my family. Yes it is sad but you have good reason. You are very brave.

I hooe you are treating yourself

user1471470141 Sun 25-Dec-16 13:18:54

I'm lying in a hotel room all alone. I thought I had Christmas sorted. Booked to go on a group holiday learning a new skill. The people were so horrible to me I left. Figured I'd rather be on my own than in company feeling even mire alone. Next year I'm going to go away again but will go by myself rather than a group holiday. I don't understand why people who choose group holidays make so little effort to be part of the group. It must be me that is odd I've decided. But I'd rather be me than rude so I'm a bit stuck.

trickycat Sun 25-Dec-16 13:19:10

Merry Christmas Space. (I have hovered the stairs and bleached the kitchen sink, how festive fwink

trickycat Sun 25-Dec-16 13:20:01

Hoovered, not hovered, that would be a cool Xmas trick.

trickycat Sun 25-Dec-16 13:21:13

flowers user. Hope you are okay.

user1471470141 Sun 25-Dec-16 13:24:59

I've been better and I've been worse but the sheer fact you have acknowledged me has brought on my first tears. Tears of gratitude though. I also have so called family who ignore my existence hence going on holiday. I try so hard to be a nice person and do the right thing and I fail every time. I can't even work out how to use mumsnet properly or change my crappy usernames for pity's sake. Why is life so hard for good people?

trickycat Sun 25-Dec-16 13:33:06

Aww user, don't cry. You sound like you are swimming against the tide and it is hard not to resent it I know. I'm sure you don't fail every time. Someone said yesterday take off your negative knickers and put on your positive pants. Silly I know but it made me laugh. wine and chocolate for you.

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