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Here again!

(11 Posts)
dm86 Sun 25-Dec-16 04:35:03

Well I have posted about my relationship a few times and I'm back here again typical on Christmas too!

My dh works a lot and when he's not working he's never here either except on a Sunday. I've got used to that and it's fine he does long hours and his job is also his hobby if that's makes sense! Anyway I told him that Xmas eve he had to stay at home with us as I need him to watch the 3 dc so I could get some housework done. We went to the Panto (better than last year when he was that busy he forgot to come home for the Panto.But he wasn't working!) and when we got home I asked him to make the cookies with them for Santa. Dough was ready just needed cut into shapes and put in the oven. I'd finished cleaning the bathroom and so the kids got in the bath afterwards. Told dh that I was going to leave their Christmas Eve boxes on the sofas downstairs and we all had to go upstairs as then the elf would deliver them. I'm sorry this is so long winded! Anyway kids were cold and ready to get out the bath and he was pissing about downstairs. I shouted and asked if he ever listened to anything I said or not and asked him what he was doing downstairs.

He then got angry with me for questioning him and had a tantrum with me. I got the kids out the bath and stormed downstairs to ask what was the temper for and explained why I wanted him to go upstairs. We had a bit of a spat and then he proceed to call me a moron and have a stomp about. I told him if he was going to have that attitude on Xmas eve to fuck off and don't bother coming back (yes I know that wasn't nice.)

I also told him he shouldn't call me a moron as it's not nice to call someone your meant to love names!! I then called him a knob as an example. He stormed out the house and then come back 10 mins later. He hasn't spoken to me since. He proceed to fall asleep about 7-8pm.Leaving me yet again to clean downstairs and bring all the Christmas presents in and do the stockings. Hence the reason I'm still up and yes I'm probably resentful as it's the same most Christmas and birthdays. If he'd been at work all day or didn't sleep much last night fine but he had more sleep than me and has had today off.

I'm just not sure what the fuck I'm getting out of the relationship but hassle tbh. As I've mentioned in previous posts I've been with him since I was 16 so have no other relationships to compare to really.

I'm also drinking more than I ever have compared to the once/twice a year I used to drink and wonder if it's so I can cope with him. There's a lot of other things he's said and I just get the impression he has no respect for me at all. Just some help I'm feeling pretty miserable for it being Christmas Day!! Thanks confused

ChuckSnowballs Sun 25-Dec-16 04:50:21

I think you should tell him to fuck off permanently.

TheNaze73 Sun 25-Dec-16 08:16:39

I don't think he wants to be with you

mamakena Mon 26-Dec-16 18:41:09

I'm sorry you're stuck with a narcissistic man-child. He has no incentive to change. 10 years from now if you look back will you be glad or sorry that you kept him?

dm86 Mon 26-Dec-16 23:56:09

Thank you for your very honest messages. He spoke to me eventually about dinner time Christmas Day and apologised and asked me to apologies too. Maybe I was arsey but I was stressed out with sorting everything for Xmas day for the kids.

I've been with him nearly 14 years now and I just feel everything is a constant battle of me defending myself. I've done something to upset him tonight and he's gone up to bed without saying anything.

What is a narcissist exactly? I'm just sure how I feel anymore. When he's being nice we get on fine and the atmosphere in the house is good. I've got the 3 dc to think about too. Just fucked off right now with it!envy

RunRabbitRunRabbit Tue 27-Dec-16 00:18:58

God he sounds an exhausting little twunt.

How many more years of this do you want?

jeaux90 Tue 27-Dec-16 00:45:18

Look up narcissistic personality disorder.

HeavenlyEyes Tue 27-Dec-16 07:55:00

if you keep posting and do nothing what do you expect to change?

dm86 Tue 27-Dec-16 16:26:16

Thanks for you replies. I'm not sure by posting what I expect but I feel he makes me doubt myself that it's my fault and I'd rather get other people's perspectives on it? He stomped off it bed last night and then expected me to have sex with him this morning.

I'm sure on the narcissist front as I don't think he has all the traits but definitely quite a few.

I always thought I could just keep going for the sake of the kids but I'm just not sure anymore. I wonder all the time if it's me but then I think he's being reasonable we have a normal relationship but then wonder if I make him the way he is.

Costacoffeeplease Tue 27-Dec-16 16:38:16

Does it matter how and why? He's the way he is, put up with it or make changes, your choice, your life

HeavenlyEyes Tue 27-Dec-16 16:43:29

keeping going for the sake of the kids is completely the wrong decision. Making yourself a martyr to his behaviour to try and protect your kids is dreadful and you are giving them a blueprint for their own future relationships. Do you want them to end up with a partner like him?

Why do you actually think someone calling you a moron could ever be ok?

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