Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

OH went out last night and came back at 9am this morning

(471 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

Sarahjane1994 Sat 24-Dec-16 11:26:38

My OH went on a works do last night. He went out at 9pm yesterday and didn't come home till 9am this morning. I was whatsapping him from 6am asking where he was and he was reading the messages but not replying. He came home and has gone straight to bed. I had so much planned for today (we have a 1 year old and he has a 7 year old that I was taking care of all yesterday btw) and now he's sleeping off his hangover and won't speak to me. I opened his xmas present that I saved up for ages for and chucked it on the bed next to him and said 'merry christmas' but he didn't even look he just threw it on the floor.

His 7 year old has gone home now and my 1 year old is having a nap. I keep getting upset and I just know it's going to be the worst christmas ever.

I don't know how to react. It's not the first time he's done this. Ive gone mad at him before and it never works he still does it.
If I go out which is very rare he interrogates me about other men etc. I wouldn't dare stay out, he would literally be accusing me of all sorts now if I pulled a stunt like that.

What are your thoughts on this situation please?

Thanks and happy xmas eve x

Afreshstartplease Sat 24-Dec-16 11:29:29

What a wanker

Is he seeing 7 year old again over Christmas ?

SaltySalt Sat 24-Dec-16 11:31:36

Ugh you don't need that today of all days. Acting like you're in the wrong? Ignoring you? Prick.

QuiltedAloeVera Sat 24-Dec-16 11:31:44

Where tf has he been? What has he been doing? How do you feel about putting up with this for the rest of your life?

Mistletoetastic Sat 24-Dec-16 11:32:09

Hand on heart where do you think that he was?

Heirhelp Sat 24-Dec-16 11:33:56

He is being a prize dick. Is he normally dickish? Can you hang out with a friend or family this afternoon? What are your plans for tomorrow?

Merriment Sat 24-Dec-16 11:36:10

He's got form for this behaviour so I guess its whether you're prepared to put up with it. If the answer is no then you need to leave him. He sounds like a selfish man-child.

Sarahjane1994 Sat 24-Dec-16 11:41:42

Thanks for the replies. I feel like nag when I'm asking him where he's been. The last time he did it I told him not to come home later than 6am or I'd lock the front door and I heard his mate say 'oh she's one of them is she' and i felt bad like I was being controlling. He is very anti cheat and he says he despises cheats because it happened to him in a previous relationship but who knows where the hell he could have been. I really don't know what to think sad

Sarahjane1994 Sat 24-Dec-16 11:44:29

I've tried leaving him before due to other issues but its not an option. He completely ignores it and refuses to leave. He says he would never let me move on with someone else.

rumred Sat 24-Dec-16 11:46:05

leave the kids with him and go enjoy yourself for 12 hours. Seriously. Don't be a doormat and fall for the sexist shite about nagging.
Anti affairs? Yeah whatever. Words are free

Prettybaffled Sat 24-Dec-16 11:48:09

Sarah it isn't up to him. It is your decision whether you are happy flowers

I'm sorry things are really hard today but I'm sure your one year old will stil love their gifts at least.

Prettybaffled Sat 24-Dec-16 11:48:48

Are you 22 as you have a username with 1994 in it? Is he quite a bit older?

JeffJarrett Sat 24-Dec-16 11:51:12

Leaving is always an option. He can't force you to stay.

He'll continue to behave like this for as long as you continue to put up with it. He sounds like a wanker and I doubt he would change his behaviour if this is a regular occurrence with no consideration for your feelings.

He's the one in the wrong. He's taking the piss out of you. I couldn't say whether he's a cheat or not, but him saying he hates cheaters doesn't mean he isn't one given how little respect he has for you from what you've posted.

Sarahjane1994 Sat 24-Dec-16 11:51:18

Thanks I'm going to make sure my little one still has the best day with or without him.

Yes I'm 22 and he is 30 x

AnyFucker Sat 24-Dec-16 11:51:42

My advice to you is to pack a bag for you and baby and go to family who give a shit about you. He clearly does not.

Merriment Sat 24-Dec-16 11:53:17

He's not the boss of you, of course you can leave. Find somewhere else to live, that's what I done when I left my arsehole ex.

fuzzywuzzy Sat 24-Dec-16 11:53:30

Are you married?

If not whose name is the house your living in?

You absolutely can leave him.

Contact women's aid.

And return his Xmas gift get your money back.

DeepanKrispanEven Sat 24-Dec-16 11:54:08

Get him up at 2 (latest) - ideally using cold water - and tell him he's in charge of the 1 year old. Tell him you have to go shopping, walk out of the door before he has a chance to argue, go and have a long relaxing coffee and wander round the sales.

nurseinwonderland Sat 24-Dec-16 11:54:33

I'd bugger off somewhere for Christmas without him. He's made he choice not to join in with Christmas Eve. You make the choice and exclude him from the actual day.

DearMrDilkington Sat 24-Dec-16 11:55:37

I'm so angry on your behalf. How fucking dare he acts like this, let alone doing it right before Christmas. Please don't put up with this, you deserve so much better.

If you have family close by then stay with them tonight. Your new years resolution can be kicking his arse out of your home!

Heirhelp Sat 24-Dec-16 11:56:02

You can leave. It does not sound like this is a good relationship. Can you go and stay with anybody else? Your little one will be happy where ever you are as long as you are happy.

Sarahjane1994 Sat 24-Dec-16 11:56:17

I'm classed as the main tenant so I know I have rights to get him to leave but the trouble he'd give me over it all would not be worth it. He has a temper and can get physical. He smashes the house to pieces and I'm always replacing mirrors etc. He went to prison for 3 months for breach of a restraining order or something with his ex but it was all because she wasn't allowing him to see his son

clumsyduck Sat 24-Dec-16 11:57:07

You don't have to be with him . You could spend next Christmas not having to put up with this shit and keep that in mind when you feel upset over this one !

It's pure fuckin selfish !! It doesn't even matter if he didn't cheat or anything he will waste Xmas eve which I'm assuming is precious family time hungover in bed . He didn't even see his other Dc he sound controlling when you go out and your upset and left alone to do everything today seriously what is the point ??

Sarahjane1994 Sat 24-Dec-16 11:57:34

I grew up in a broken home with a Dad who had a bad temper and it still affects me now. I'd never want to put my little girl through that sad

Prettybaffled Sat 24-Dec-16 11:57:39

I wouldn't leave my child with someone who had been drinking heavily and had very little sleep. If you decide to go out I would definitely take your l.o. With you. I'm sure you will be planning a nice day for her today even if he is being hopeless flowers

What are the other issues?

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: