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How do you help someone with depression?

(7 Posts)
allgoodnamestaken Fri 23-Dec-16 16:05:35

DB has been through the mill and is not handling it well. He had a whirlwind romance and got married about 3 months. Things didn't go well, she was a controlling narc. They are now divorced but he isn't handling things well. He phones my parents and says that he wants to end his life. He is lonely and unhappy with his life. Other times he just gets on with it. He's not unaware of his moods and does speak about getting help but doesn't do anything about it.
I have a lot of sympathy as I've also had PND and depression through the years. However, I know that part of the recovery is getting help and finding strength through the process of healing yourself. He just won't go to the doctor or look for counselling. How can you help someone who won't help themself?

InfoFreako Fri 23-Dec-16 17:19:07

First of all, the person has to acknowledge that they need help. You can lead a horse to water, etc.

Hope things work out!


peppatax Fri 23-Dec-16 17:23:19

Just look after him however you can. Make life easier for him - check he's okay, let him vent, organise something to do with him that he'd enjoy, drop in casually if you can. Sometimes you just have to show someone a little lightness when they're in a dark world.

TyneTeas Fri 23-Dec-16 17:30:39

Have you seen the Black Dog film? It's quite good at portraying depression and some tips about managing it

TyneTeas Fri 23-Dec-16 17:32:16

I meant that sometimes it helps people recognise it in themselves

QuiltedAloeVera Fri 23-Dec-16 17:40:52

I think some people find it very difficult to ask for help on their own behalf. Maybe sell it to him as doing you/your parents a big favour.

fallenempires Fri 23-Dec-16 18:00:00

You sound really kind OP your DB is fortunate to have such a caring family around him.
Is he aware that you have experienced the illness & know how he feels?
I am going through similar with my DP & it's heartbreaking to see him like that.

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