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Don't know what to do

(16 Posts)
GerardNoWay Fri 23-Dec-16 08:35:54

I had my works Christmas party last night. Nothing too spectacular, just a meal and a few drinks

I, however, got horribly drunk. My work friend dropped me off at home and my OH received me.

That's where everything went a bit wrong.

Being drunk I just wanted to hug the toilet and crash out. OH wouldn't leave me alone. He kept trying to get me up to bed but I felt so dizzy and sick I couldn't. He got very upset with me and ended up being very rough with me. I told him repeatedly to leave me and he wouldn't. He grabbed me around the throat, pushed me, put his hand over my mouth, banged my head against the tv and all around was very aggressive.

I have been assaulted before and it's made it all come flooding back.
I'm so shook up; I don't know what to do.

WynterBlossom Fri 23-Dec-16 08:38:03

Most replies on here will be LTB.

If he's capable of doing that now, he will simply continue if you forgive him.

MrsBertBibby Fri 23-Dec-16 08:42:59

How long have you baan together? Kids? Shared property?

GloriousGoosebumps Fri 23-Dec-16 08:47:22

How did the violence end and what is he saying this morning?

GerardNoWay Fri 23-Dec-16 09:13:27

We've been together 5 years. 1 year old DD.

I can't remember how it ended -- I woke up this morning naked and in bed. He is very sorry this morning, maintains that he wanted to keep me safe and he got frustrated. This isn't an excuse for me. Apparently I lay down on the sofa and fell asleep, and we went up to bed about 3am. No memory of this.

GerardNoWay Fri 23-Dec-16 09:13:48

We've been together 5 years. 1 year old DD.

I can't remember how it ended -- I woke up this morning naked and in bed. He is very sorry this morning, maintains that he wanted to keep me safe and he got frustrated. This isn't an excuse for me. Apparently I lay down on the sofa and fell asleep, and we went up to bed about 3am. No memory of this.

Silverdream Fri 23-Dec-16 09:40:14

This isn't a great situation.
Aren't they usually sorry after.
How is Hurting you keeping you safe ?
Think carefully about this relationship

GloriousGoosebumps Fri 23-Dec-16 09:48:47

It's difficult to see how grabbing you around the neck, putting his hand over your mouth and banging your head against the tv is keeping you safe.

Of course he's very sorry this morning; he's worried that you'll go to the police. That fear will wear off and then he'll convince himself that it was your fault he was violent. The next time you do something he doesn't like he'll find it that much easier to knock you around.

You need to get yourself and your child to a place of safety, perhaps you can go to your parents, and then call the police.

Purplebluebird Fri 23-Dec-16 09:52:33

Oh no, this is terrible! You need to very carefully consider your options I think. What would be your reaction if this happened to your child when grown up?

Cricrichan Fri 23-Dec-16 09:53:50

Jesus op. That is awful. Has he done anything like this before? How scary.

GerardNoWay Fri 23-Dec-16 10:29:19

Has never done anything like this before. I would go as far to say that previously I never thought him capable of doing that.

I feel so shell shocked. I feel that it was my fault for being drunk. I feel awful about the whole thing

happychristmasbum Fri 23-Dec-16 18:43:02

gerard this is awful flowers

The hand around your throat in particular is incredibly worried.

I would ask him to leave whilst you consider your options. If he refuses then say you will have to involve the police and have him removed.

This is not your fault

If DP came home drink would you physically assault him like that?

No, I thought not. Can you confide in anyone who can come and hold your hand?

Featherybum Fri 23-Dec-16 19:27:51

This is not your fault and isn't normal xx Can you call refuge or someone for advice?

binkiesandpopcorns Sat 24-Dec-16 00:52:21

Just want to add to the chorus of Not Your Fault. It is 100% his fault.

Minnie747 Sat 24-Dec-16 01:03:50

He's already succeeded in making you think it could be your fault by saying it was to keep you safe. When it was absolutely not your fault. This is already manipulative behaviour from him.

Purplebluebird Tue 27-Dec-16 08:25:36

How are you doing now?

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