Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Opinions please

(8 Posts)
Weimaragi Thu 22-Dec-16 09:44:31

so a dilemma, will try to be brief

My father never knew his, granny had a holiday romance and ended up preggers at a time when this was a huge taboo, then married my grandad who brought up my dad as his own although their relationship wasn't great.
Dad discovered he was adopted but chose not to try and find biological dad.
My dad now has dementia and has done for 10 years aged only 58, I rang my granny last year and after years of silence she told me the name of my bio. Grandad (adoptive grandad had died year previous). My dad had said years ago me and my brother could try and find bio. Gdad but that he wasn't interested in knowing if we were successful.
Research showed bio Gdad died over 10 years ago but had his own children, my dads half siblings.
So......question is do I make contact?
They may have no idea their father has another child, equally they may know...
WWYD??

user1482343889 Thu 22-Dec-16 09:54:16

Depends on your motives. What's the reason you want contract.

forumdonkey Thu 22-Dec-16 09:59:29

Personally given the circumstances I'd let sleeping dog's lie. DF has dementia, GF died and given the fact that your DF chose not to find his bio DF I don't really understand why you you would want to now.

hellsbellsmelons Thu 22-Dec-16 10:18:20

I understand why you'd want to find your family.
I think I'd leave it until well into the new year and then maybe try to contact them.
They may be pleased to learn about you but then again they might not.
So you need to prepare yourself for the worst scenario outcome.
As long as you are strong enough to cope with that then give it a go.

Weimaragi Thu 22-Dec-16 10:26:10

Thanks for your thoughts...
I guess my motives are curiosity. There was also a family story that my bio Gdad did try to see my dad as a baby but that my Ggdad chased him off.
Of course my dads condition also means I have a big part of my family missing, I'm not in anyway trying to replace him but I want to know what his dad was like and put that family secret to bed.

Weimaragi Thu 22-Dec-16 10:27:19

Hellsbells I agree I definately won't do anything near christmas

Weimaragi Thu 22-Dec-16 22:47:48

Bumping

FlourishingMrs Sat 24-Dec-16 04:37:18

Why won't you respect your grand dads wishes, he probably had good reasons to not want to know.

Life is no soap opera, let sleeping dogs ...

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now