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Being made to feel worthless

(7 Posts)
Notjustapregnantlady Wed 21-Dec-16 00:33:09

Backstory: Pregnant with my 3rd child split up a few months back with dad of unborn baby and my other child I haven and older child who lives with her dad due to my mental health and other reasons. I've still got feelings for my ex even though he's a bastard and he told me there was no way of us getting back together I found some texts on his phone from an old friend basically asking her out and saying he was going to buy her everything and all this. Anyway stupid mistake of mine I met up with a lad I known a while nothing happened. I did it to get back at my ex for those texts. My ex found out and he's now saying he's going to take me to court to get the kids full time and lie about my mental state. That he loves them more than I do. Just wanted to vent and ask for your advice really x

category12 Wed 21-Dec-16 04:22:40

He's not going to become resident parent on the basis of you meeting up with someone else and a load of bollocks.

It's unlikely he's actually going to pursue having the dc full-time at all, if he's previously been fine with current arrangements.

He is most likely just saying it to make you scared and to get you to behave as he wishes. Seems to me you're both saying /doing whatever you think will get to the other most.

I think you should step off that roundabout. Stop playing these games.

There is nothing wrong in seeing someone else: you are split up. Your ex should gtfo. (However, it's not actually very nice to use someone to make someone else jealous) . Also you don't sound in the right place to have another relationship.

Stop with the men, and concentrate on getting over the split and your dc who deserve better than being pawns in a war between you.

Put up boundaries with your ex, and stop engaging with him in your mutual drama making. Just stop.

Notjustapregnantlady Wed 21-Dec-16 07:20:01

Thank you for replying, I know I shouldn't have done it even though nothing happened I still feel cheap! He said last night that I was acting like a Slag and a slut because of me being pregnant. I know we're no good together.

category12 Wed 21-Dec-16 13:49:15

Why are you having those sorts of conversations with him at all? He's the one who was cheating or trying to cheat - his morals are shit.

Just stick to necessary conversation about the dc and cut him off if it gets to be about you. He's not good to you or for you, start protecting yourself by controlling your contact with him.

MatildaTheCat Wed 21-Dec-16 13:59:00

It's very, very unlikely he will go to court for residency. Stop engaging with him and work on losing those 'feelings' you still have for him. He's a nasty bastard.

Courts do not rely on the sort of evidence he would give, it's vindictive crap. They would be more interested in medical records, psychiatric reports, HV evidence and SS reports. Even if all of these existed they would have to point towards you being unfit to care for your DC and unwilling to engage in support or treatment.

Block his number and stop giving him the pleasure of upsetting you.

Best wishes and a gentle hug.

MatildaTheCat Wed 21-Dec-16 14:01:48

Sorry, since he's the father of your child and I guess has contact, perhaps give him a separate email address to use to communicate solely for that purpose and only take phone calls when DC is with him.

Take control.

hellsbellsmelons Wed 21-Dec-16 14:22:12

Using words like that is awful and suggests he's a misogynistic idiot!
I would suggest he's probably a nasty bully as well.
What else has he done to put you down and make you feel bad?

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