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How much money do you spend on your parents at Christmas?

(47 Posts)
shoobadoo Tue 20-Dec-16 15:47:33

Every Christmas I feel guilty as my parents (both separated) seem to spend hundred of pounds on us and our DCS whilst I budget £40-50 for each parent. DS doesn't have children of her own and will roughly equal what our parents spend on her, whilst I just can't afford it.
I feel like I sit opening present afree present after present from my parents, whilst I give them 1or 2 each. I've asked them not to spend so much, but they don't listen, they also can't afford to spend so much.
How much do you spend on parents in comparison to what they spend on you?

bowchikkawowwow Tue 20-Dec-16 16:01:11

I usually spend around £50 but wanted to treat my mum after a crap year so spent around £200 th--i--s yearblush

bowchikkawowwow Tue 20-Dec-16 16:01:53

Oh and my mum spends around £100/£150 on me

TheNaze73 Tue 20-Dec-16 16:03:56

I've spent about £150 but, have put my kids name to some of the presents as well

m17362772 Tue 20-Dec-16 16:04:53


IfartInYourGeneralDirection Tue 20-Dec-16 16:06:38

Around £20 each.

TealGiraffe Tue 20-Dec-16 16:08:43

About £100 each, its not lots of gifts though. We don't believe in tat grin so they only have 2 gifts each, but decent quality ones.

TealGiraffe Tue 20-Dec-16 16:11:26

Oh and for comparison they will spend about £400 on me. But again, not loads of gifts, just nice things i wouldnt buy myself. 2 perfumes is over £100 gone so its easily done. I know i have a £100 handbag as well cos i picked it. Well, i said 'ooh thats nice' and my mum asked if i wanted it putting away for xmas.

Ive been waiting 2 months for it, 5 days to go 😍😍

Joysmum Tue 20-Dec-16 16:19:56

It doesn't matter what others spend, it's about give a gift you can afford and that the receiver will appreciate.

Keepcalmanddrinkcoffee Tue 20-Dec-16 16:27:45

Usually we spend about £25 to £30 and they spend the same. Mum and I treat ourselves out for coffee etc during the year. We never have been a family for expensive presents.

2ducks2ducklings Tue 20-Dec-16 16:49:39

I'm in the exact same boat. My parents spend a fortune on me, my husband and our kids as week as my brother and sister in law and my niece and my sister and her boyfriend. Last year they paid for us 6 adults to go to Dublin for a weekend and had paid for the ladies to go to the savoy for afternoon tea as a Christmas Eve present. Christmas is such s huge thing to our family that I know they do genuinely love giving us these things and we are super grateful!
Last year I spent about £60 each one parents, but that was because I spent ALOT on my credit cards. This year, we just can't afford it.
I sent a text to all my family members to say finances are a bit tight this year for us so please don't spend loads on us as we're just unable to reciprocate. This, I know, has gone completely ignored and I'll spend a lot of time feeling guilty over what I spend on others in relation to what they've spent on me.

AmberEars Tue 20-Dec-16 16:55:45

I've spent £60 this year on my parents' joint present. They don't spend loads on us either though (which is fine with me).

TokenGinger Tue 20-Dec-16 16:57:49

I have two brothers. All 3 of us put £50-£70 in for both parents, so jointly we spend approx £200 on them both between us.

They each give us £100 cash usually, and mum usually has wrap ups for us. If she buys us big presents, the £100 decreases.

Pyjamaface Tue 20-Dec-16 17:01:26

It depends, this year I have spent around £20 on each of them, last year was around £50. It varies because some years I find loads of things, others I struggle to find anything they will want at all.

I have no idea how much they spend on me, £100 at a guess but that will also vary as last year they bought me a fridge freezer

TotalConfucius Tue 20-Dec-16 17:02:31

DH and I will be giving her £40 of Edinburgh Woollen Mill vouchers (her preference, she does like a nice cardy, she has 732 of them).
DS is giving her 3 mini bottles of wine.
DD, the tightwad, is giving Grandma a picture...of herself. (Though Grandma has been after a copy of this particular picture for ages.) And she had bought a nice frame for it (in Wilkos, though).
We are having a family-wide initiative this year where we change the financial focus from Xmas to Birthdays, as it will spread the pain a bit.

Underthemoonlight Tue 20-Dec-16 17:05:06

Spent 25 each it's not about the amount but the thought behind it.

IcedVanillaLatte Tue 20-Dec-16 17:06:59

Usually somewhere around £50-100 between them. They spend anywhere from £100 upwards on me (and then my birthday is shortly afterwards…). This year they want to buy me a laptop but I've asked them to wait a bit so I can get one just before I start University. But they'll probably buy me something anyway 😒blush (I'd rather they didn't). It's not unprecedented; a few years ago they bought my brother a £1000 laptop he needed, and bought me something far far cheaper. It's not really measured in money for them IYSWIM. They have a very good pension income and it essentially doesn't matter too much as long as it's something I'd really like and they can afford it. I, on the other hand, am on benefits so I have to set a budget grin

TheGruffaloMother Tue 20-Dec-16 17:10:47

I've spent around £90-120 on DM this year (do you count posh advent stuff?)

StepDF has had about £35 spent on him. But he hates me spending on him so I actively try to keep myself in check when buying for him.

DM (and StepDF by extension) will no doubt have spent hundreds on me. DM and I share an need to be generous at Christmas.

Whitecovers Tue 20-Dec-16 17:13:33

I usually spend around £40 on my dad but he has had a spectacularly bad year after making a very bad choice of marrying someone he didn't hardly know and getting well and truly done over, and losing his job. So he is now single and having to sign on for the first time in his life at nearly 60!

So I was thinking of getting him the Amazon Alexa speaker thingy. He's really into his technology so I hope he likes it.

Aoibhe Tue 20-Dec-16 17:13:39

£100. My mum would expect it, and actually strongly hint at what she wants.

winterinmadeira Tue 20-Dec-16 17:15:36

I usually spend between £30 and £50. However, I have been poorly this year and they have been brilliant and so I have spent about £70 on each.

BearFeet Tue 20-Dec-16 17:18:19

Parents give me and DH £100 between us. I get them 3 things from the 3 kids. Could be any amount. Think this years were £15, £12 and £4.

BearFeet Tue 20-Dec-16 17:19:05

They obviously get the dc stuff too. I've said they're not to bother giving us the cash but dm likes too.

HopefulHamster Tue 20-Dec-16 17:20:18

My parents tell me not to spend much. I normally spend up to £25. Now wondering if that is a bit mean! They do spend more on my kids.

PerfumeAndCatsAndBooks Tue 20-Dec-16 17:22:02

There is a large discrepancy here too between what I can afford and what my parents can afford! My (lovely) parents always say "don't spend your money on us, please keep it for yourselves" and I always assumed this was just politeness etc, but now my DC are teens with limited pocket money, I say the same to my DC, and really mean it! So I don't feel so bad anymore grin

What I do is get my parents a small but nice gift which I can afford (bedding set or nice mugs or meal out etc) but I also do them a stocking each. Just little things like their favourite chocolate, tin of G and T, seeds for the garden etc. It doesn't cost a lot but they really appreciate it as it's personal.

I also wrap all the stocking items so there isn't so much of an unrwapping time discrepancy wink

What I'm trying to say is, if your parents are genuinely nice and don't want you to spend all your hard earned cash on them, take them at their word and go for thoughtful rather than monetary. If they're not nice and "expect" £££ gifts, fuck em grin

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