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What should I do. Unexpected call.

(23 Posts)
sleepingkoala Tue 20-Dec-16 15:37:12

My ex called me. I saw it but didn't answer as I didn't know what to do. I was just surprised that he even still had my number and would call. It's been 5 months NC apart from a couple of emails literally just about mundane essential practical stuff which I had to reply to but no other conversation/contact in at least 4 months anyway. And then a couple of days ago he calls completely out of the blue. It was the middle of the day on a weekday.

I'm really curious about why he called. But I don't know if I should send him a text or not. He hasn't called again and I'm kinda hoping he will just so I can find out. I hope he's ok as I do still care about him and I've been tempted to text him. But I'm scared to.

What is the etiquette here? I don't want to be rude or upset him...But obviously it's strange because he's my ex. How long would someone usually wait to try calling again if they were going to at all/still wanted to? And how long can I leave it before texting him and should I contact him back at all?

I mean he could just message me or try again but he hasn't. But maybe he is annoyed that I didn't contact him back.

NarcsBegone Tue 20-Dec-16 15:43:21

Just text saying you had a missed call from him and wondering if he called by accident.
There are 101 reasons he could have called and the only way to find out is to contact him.

I would ignore and block if he was abusive in any way.

TheNaze73 Tue 20-Dec-16 15:44:57

Ignore it, sounds like he's testing the water or maybe after a quickie for old times sake.
If he really wants you, he'll call again. Don't go running back

MinesAGin Tue 20-Dec-16 15:47:03

Yes, ignore it. He was probably feeling sorry for himself and thought you could give him a boost. If you call him or text him, you'll give him that boost.

RedMapleLeaf Tue 20-Dec-16 15:48:04

I'd leave it. I think the fact that it's already been 2 days means something.

wannabestressfree Tue 20-Dec-16 15:48:22

God you get all that from a missed call TheNaze??
If it was a bloke I knew it would be an arse call and a mistake.

WuTangFlan Tue 20-Dec-16 15:51:02

Ignore it. Do contact him. If it was important he would have called back or left a message.

The fact you are worrying "maybe he is annoyed that I didn't contact him back" suggests this is not a relationship which was good for you. There is no reason for him to be annoyed in this scenario.

Fontella Tue 20-Dec-16 15:51:50

Well it's obviously not important or he would have called back, left a message or emailed you.

If you've been NC for four months then why open a dialogue with him you don't need to have, by contacting him to ask why he called? It could have been a misdial, it could have been a spur of the moment thing he now regrets, it could be to wish you Happy Christmas, it could be anything. but whatever it is, it's clearly not important enough for him to try to contact you again.

Just forget about it and move on.

Cricrichan Tue 20-Dec-16 15:57:03

Ignore it. If it's important he'll message or try again.

Latenightreader Tue 20-Dec-16 16:00:27

I would ignore it. Did you just see a missed call on a screen? It could have been a two second wrong name dial (been there, done that), it could have been a nostalgia boost in the festive season, or it could have been an attempt at stirring. If he really wanted you to know something he'd try again or leave a message. He had that option and chose not to use it. Step away...

ifonly4 Tue 20-Dec-16 16:12:31

Unless you think you'd like to give the relationship another try, I'd ignore it. He may have just wanted a chat, but you don't want him messing with your feelings by having too much contact.

WuTangFlan Tue 20-Dec-16 16:12:43

Sorry, that should be do NOT contact him!!!

Benedikte2 Tue 20-Dec-16 16:14:40

Contacting him may satisfy your curiosity but also may cause you more heartache. You have managed nc for some time and appear to be coping do not risk open any old wounds at this time.

NotWeavingButDarning Tue 20-Dec-16 16:17:38

Ignore. Ime men in general don't spend ages reading things into people not contacting them or analysing situations like this.

If he wants/needs to talk to you he'll call again without thinking twice about it, if not, he won't bother.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Tue 20-Dec-16 16:19:23

He probably butt dialed you. If it's important he'll call again.

5BlueHydrangea Tue 20-Dec-16 16:31:37

No message, ignore! If its important he'll call again..

OurBlanche Tue 20-Dec-16 16:33:02

Oh! I know what that was! Don't reply!

He has just got round to deleting your number. He was tootling through his phone during lunch or that mid afternoon lull, came to your number and thought "That's one I won't ever need again" went to delete it but accidentally pushed the ring icon instead!

He would have slammed that red button to cut the call and spent half an hour thinking "Fuck fuck fuck! Now I look desperate!"

So do him one last favour, don't respond. Let him hold to that slim hope that he cut the call before your phone registered it smile

sleepingkoala Tue 20-Dec-16 16:43:34

thanks for the replies so far everyone.

I was actually looking at my phone when it happened to ring. So I just watched it ring until it stopped. Seemed about the amount of time it rings for until it goes to voicemail. And there was no silent voicemail message. Which would make a misdial less likely.

I'm really curious and getting more curious and tempted to text him but I also don't want to regret it and would obviously much rather he just called me again. Not sure what I'll do. I'll try to just leave it I guess.

Ilovetorrentialrain Tue 20-Dec-16 16:57:27

OP how long ago was this call?

OurBlanche Tue 20-Dec-16 17:00:36

Which would make a misdial less likely. No, you have misremembered that. It was a PIP call that went to voicemail - honest smile

He didn't ring, he didn't , he didn't...

Anything else will slowly earworm its way in and make you feel weird.

Therefore, it is absolutely true that he did NOT call grin

Ilovetorrentialrain Tue 20-Dec-16 17:21:32

Are you still interested in him? If so, get in touch, if not, definitely just leave it.

sleepingkoala Tue 20-Dec-16 17:44:05

It was 4 days ago now. I would have thought he'd call again by now if he was going to. But I don't know. And also now I'm wondering if it's weird to even text him now after that time if I wanted to.

Kittencatkins123 Tue 20-Dec-16 18:13:25

Why were you NC? I.e. Did you have to go NC after a shitty relationship or is that just your general policy with exes?

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