After much support through women's aid and various other resources I finally separated from my partner of many years in the Autumn. Our daughter, aged three has never got along with him and has vocalised that she'd rather not see him at all. In fact she's gone from an out and out fear when we were living as a couple to something now more like an aloof dislike.
The difficultly is that despite his ill treatment of me, he still has shared access with her under our own agreement. He still holds and wields a lot of power over me due to (and some posters may recognise me in my previous posts for this) my drinking. I'm too scared of his ability to use my past alcoholism against me (I've been dry since we've lived apart) so I've had to allow access as he wants it which currently stands at every other weekend and most often a week day.
Dd does not act as though she's scared or threatened but makes it painfully clear she would rather not see him. From living together its clear he doesn't really take much interest in her and is easily irritated by normal toddler behaviour. I feel this is simply another extension of his control.
What on earth should I do? I just can't risk him turning on me and playing the unfit mother card for full custody but equally I feel awful that I have to send my daughter away to someone who used to abuse me and more importantly she dislikes.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
My daughter despises her father but I have to allow contact.
15 replies
TitaniumBoudica · 19/12/2016 21:46
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.