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Need to leave my husband

(22 Posts)
lonely2011 Mon 19-Dec-16 19:56:10

Thats it really. Just don't have the confidence to do so. I'm so lonely sad

FetchezLaVache Mon 19-Dec-16 19:58:01

Keep talking, lovely. What's been happening?

fruitbats Mon 19-Dec-16 19:59:08

We can lend an ear if you'd like thanks

lonely2011 Mon 19-Dec-16 20:20:40

I think he emotionally abuses me but he says I'm the problem and says I'm horrible to him. I don't see it sadhow do I know who is right?

JerryFerry Mon 19-Dec-16 20:22:37

It's never about "right", it's how you feel that matters. You sound unhappy.

lonely2011 Mon 19-Dec-16 20:24:16

I am, I don't want to be with him anymore but can't say the words.

fruitbats Mon 19-Dec-16 20:31:43

Is it just the 2 of you of you do you have DC?

lonely2011 Mon 19-Dec-16 20:33:09

Just the two of us thankfully, it's pathetic I can't leave

fruitbats Mon 19-Dec-16 20:37:22

It's not pathetic. We all have our reasons for staying or going. You said that you are lonely, do you have any family or friends you could look to for support? You don't have to answer my answer my questions, obviously smile

jeaux90 Mon 19-Dec-16 20:40:09

Lonely often men who are abusive tell you that you are batshit crazy. It's their form. Keep talking. What's stopping you from ending the relationship? You don't need his permission you know xxx

lonely2011 Mon 19-Dec-16 20:40:57

I have both but so ashamed and no one knows we don't get on. This would be my third failed long term relationship, they'll think it's me sad

lonely2011 Mon 19-Dec-16 20:42:21

Jeaux - don't want him to find happiness with someone else as it belongs to me. I think I'd miss him too

ageingrunner Mon 19-Dec-16 20:43:17

I agree it's not about who's right. I wasted years of my life trying to work out whether it was right to leave my ex or not. It was right because he made me unhappy. I wish I'd known that then.

BigFatBollocks Mon 19-Dec-16 20:44:49

The perpetrator always make it the other persons fault, sends them mad with it questioning themselves. He's eaten away at ur self esteem and you're doubting yourself. Playing with your mind. I was with someone ea and that's exactly what he did to me. Be strong.

lonely2011 Mon 19-Dec-16 20:48:16

He is so hard on me as he says I make him
ill - what if it's me?

fruitbats Mon 19-Dec-16 20:49:08

You don't need to feel ashamed. It's not important how many relationships you have had. You deserve to be happy

fruitbats Mon 19-Dec-16 20:49:54

Don't you think that you would know if it was really you?

BigFatBollocks Mon 19-Dec-16 20:50:08

You'll miss having someone, not necessarily him. U'll be able to go etc with your friends. It'll be good!!

FetchezLaVache Mon 19-Dec-16 20:56:07

Do you want to tell us about some of the incidents? Might help you to get your thoughts in order, esp if you don't have anyone irl to discuss things with.

jeaux90 Mon 19-Dec-16 20:59:31

You don't want him to find happiness with anyone else as it belongs to you.

So let me get this straight. You don't want to leave because the thought of him moving on and finding happiness with someone else doesn't fit well. But, you are really unhappy with him and him with you right?

This is the wrong way to think about it. It's your happiness you should focus on. Your life. In what way does he think you make him ill.

troubleatmill2011 Tue 20-Dec-16 19:39:59

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

fruitbats Tue 20-Dec-16 20:00:07

Best of luck OP. You may want to name change thanks

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