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I just don't know where to go from here

(3 Posts)
Tryingtostayyoung Mon 19-Dec-16 07:57:55

DH and I have been abit up and down for the last few months, it's been tough, we've not been close to splitting or anything like that but just going through a tough time. The last few weeks though I thought we had turned it around, I thought that we had turned a corner. This morning though we've had one of our biggest arguments yet.
I feel like DD acts totally different when he is around and not in a positive way, she plays up and seems to completely lose her manners. This morning I came out the bathroom to her shouting at me about something she couldn't find I looked straight at DH and said see she's doing it again you've obviously riled her up to shout, he said no she did exactly the same to me. So I apologise to him to which he continues to be rude to me saying he can't wait to get to work. The whole thing snowballed into me telling him she never acts like this when your not here to him telling me that's probably because she's relived to have someone here to back her up instead of me probably bullying her, I instantly burst into tears, I know he doesn't mean it and said it in anger but it hurt me beyond belief. That couldn't be further from the truth, me and DD are as close as they come and have an amazing relationship. He then went on the defensive because he knew he was wrong starting screaming at me from downstairs and I could hear DD saying why did you upset mummy and him saying I didn't she's just angry. I said how dare you say that I'm not angry you upset me don't lie to her and tell her I'm angry. He then proceeded to call me a fat cunt under his breathe and storm out. I literally don't know where to go from here. Someone please help me

TheSilveryPussycat Mon 19-Dec-16 11:48:25

Try not to blame each other. Remain calm with DD and remember you are her DM and you are one of the adults in charge. Picking over stuff with DH probably doesn't help matters. (Counsels of perfection, I know.)

Happybunny19 Mon 19-Dec-16 12:31:05

You need to act as a team, you aren't while you're blaming your dds bad behaviour on him. I'm not surprised he's on the defensive, anyone would be if blamed for all their dcs negative behaviour. Obviously he was also well out of order for insulting you like that, but one of you needs to reach out, make peace and be the bigger man otherwise you will continue the endless cycle of bickering forever. It's coming up to Christmas and I'm sure both of you want to enjoy the festivities as a happy family.

All relationships go through these stages, but you need to learn to stop the cycles, work together and pick your battles.

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