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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Fresh eyes please on this

135 replies

Messedupmethinks · 19/12/2016 07:08

2 year old toddler away from mummy for a week including xmas

OP posts:

Report

NiceFalafels · 19/12/2016 07:09

Details?

MelanieCheeks · 19/12/2016 07:09

Would need a lot more information before I could comment!

WellErrr · 19/12/2016 07:13

Doesn't sound great on the face of it but need more info.

Messedupmethinks · 19/12/2016 07:13

Sorry new on this . First time away from mummy,

OP posts:

Messedupmethinks · 19/12/2016 07:15

With other side of family who want to get to know baby more

OP posts:

LittleMoomins · 19/12/2016 07:16

It depends on a lot of things. Are we talking just turned two or nearly three? Is it to stay with the NRP? If so, do they have a good relationship?

On the face of it I can't see a problem. Yes you'll be apart from your child in xmas day but 25th is only a number, you can do your own Christmas when your child is back with you.

Messedupmethinks · 19/12/2016 07:18

A week feels long . Never been away from me . I don't mind if I could see littlen half way through but I can't apparently. He's almost 2

OP posts:

Bohemond · 19/12/2016 07:19

And this is precisely the problem with 'never been away from me'

Rubberubberduckduck · 19/12/2016 07:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BertieBotts · 19/12/2016 07:19

A week for the first time is long. What's the problem with building up more slowly? How well does he know the people he'll be staying with?

happystory · 19/12/2016 07:20

'I can't apparently' who is saying this? Is it possible geographically? It seems a long time.

paddlenorapaddle · 19/12/2016 07:20

Is that a legal agreement or has it just been dictated to you ?

If it's the latter no way it should be shared

Rubberubberduckduck · 19/12/2016 07:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SouthPole · 19/12/2016 07:21

You're the mother. if you don't want it to happen don't let it.

get a grip.

"Can't apparently" - says fucking who.

Honestly, woman up. I hear too much of this on here.

LineyReborn · 19/12/2016 07:21

Who is he staying with? Do you not want him to go? Do you have any choice or is it court ordered?

Just trying to understand the context.

Spadequeen · 19/12/2016 07:22

Does the 2 yr old know the other people well? If not, is say a week is too long. You have to look at the best interest of the child, not the adults.

Millionsmom · 19/12/2016 07:22

I'm wondering why don't they have a relationship? If they don't and want to start one, why does it have to be a full week over Christmas?
There are 51 other weeks of the year when they could've started establishing a relationship.

No, I wouldnt be happy letting my 2 year old spend a week with people I didn't know very well or who didn't know my DD well enough to have an already established relationship. In fact, I wouldn't be happy my 18 year old for that matter.

Spadequeen · 19/12/2016 07:23

South Pole it's not that easy. A friends ex recently had their children for the weekend and once the children were with him refused to tell her where they were She couldn't make him.

WellErrr · 19/12/2016 07:24

Yep, you're the mother. If you don't want this to happen then say no.

WannaBe · 19/12/2016 07:29

This is far too drip-drip. There is not enough information here to make an informed judgement.

If it's with his father for instance and you are separated then TBH I don't really see the issue. After all you would presumably have no issue having the child for a week without him seeing his father so I don't see it as different the other way around necessarily. Even if the father is taking the child to his family who maybe don't know him well yet due to separation...

However, if this is just the family then you just say no. It's not a discussion that even needs to be had. But stop being so cryptic and then people can give you genuine answers

Messedupmethinks · 19/12/2016 07:29

Obviously a lot to this . Million mum thank you that's what I'm feeling. Came on here for support.

OP posts:

category12 · 19/12/2016 07:30

Nope.

A week is too long for a first time away from mum. Especially at 2.

I wouldn't give them Xmas day. If it's the father, I might alternate Xmas', but otherwise nope. Other family could visit briefly on the day maybe if they are able to be civil and decent visitors, or take dc out on boxing day if they are decent trustworthy relatives.

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Costacoffeeplease · 19/12/2016 07:30

Can you give a fuller picture of the circumstances?

FetchezLaVache · 19/12/2016 07:31

Members of your child's father's family don't get to dictate things like this. They can ask, but you can say no. There's no way on this earth I would have handed my DS to people he didn't know well for that length of time at that age (in fact, he's now 6 and I still wouldn't!).

Would DS be leaving the country, for the purposes of this visit?

OnionKnight · 19/12/2016 07:32

We need more information OP, not that it's stopping some people.

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