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Fresh eyes please on this

(136 Posts)
Messedupmethinks Mon 19-Dec-16 07:08:26

2 year old toddler away from mummy for a week including xmas

NiceFalafels Mon 19-Dec-16 07:09:12

Details?

MelanieCheeks Mon 19-Dec-16 07:09:29

Would need a lot more information before I could comment!

WellErrr Mon 19-Dec-16 07:13:01

Doesn't sound great on the face of it but need more info.

Messedupmethinks Mon 19-Dec-16 07:13:40

Sorry new on this . First time away from mummy,

Messedupmethinks Mon 19-Dec-16 07:15:02

With other side of family who want to get to know baby more

LittleMoomins Mon 19-Dec-16 07:16:11

It depends on a lot of things. Are we talking just turned two or nearly three? Is it to stay with the NRP? If so, do they have a good relationship?

On the face of it I can't see a problem. Yes you'll be apart from your child in xmas day but 25th is only a number, you can do your own Christmas when your child is back with you.

Messedupmethinks Mon 19-Dec-16 07:18:12

A week feels long . Never been away from me . I don't mind if I could see littlen half way through but I can't apparently. He's almost 2

Bohemond Mon 19-Dec-16 07:19:27

And this is precisely the problem with 'never been away from me'

Rubberubberduckduck Mon 19-Dec-16 07:19:37

It's coming across like you're being forced in to this. By who? And why can't you say no? Not being goady bye, it's a genuine question

BertieBotts Mon 19-Dec-16 07:19:53

A week for the first time is long. What's the problem with building up more slowly? How well does he know the people he'll be staying with?

happystory Mon 19-Dec-16 07:20:17

'I can't apparently' who is saying this? Is it possible geographically? It seems a long time.

paddlenorapaddle Mon 19-Dec-16 07:20:48

Is that a legal agreement or has it just been dictated to you ?

If it's the latter no way it should be shared

Rubberubberduckduck Mon 19-Dec-16 07:21:02

Goady by the way. Been up all night with newborn and am typing this is a semi comatose state!

SouthPole Mon 19-Dec-16 07:21:37

You're the mother. if you don't want it to happen don't let it.

get a grip.

"Can't apparently" - says fucking who.

Honestly, woman up. I hear too much of this on here.

LineyReborn Mon 19-Dec-16 07:21:51

Who is he staying with? Do you not want him to go? Do you have any choice or is it court ordered?

Just trying to understand the context.

Spadequeen Mon 19-Dec-16 07:22:04

Does the 2 yr old know the other people well? If not, is say a week is too long. You have to look at the best interest of the child, not the adults.

Millionsmom Mon 19-Dec-16 07:22:15

I'm wondering why don't they have a relationship? If they don't and want to start one, why does it have to be a full week over Christmas?
There are 51 other weeks of the year when they could've started establishing a relationship.

No, I wouldnt be happy letting my 2 year old spend a week with people I didn't know very well or who didn't know my DD well enough to have an already established relationship. In fact, I wouldn't be happy my 18 year old for that matter.

Spadequeen Mon 19-Dec-16 07:23:51

South Pole it's not that easy. A friends ex recently had their children for the weekend and once the children were with him refused to tell her where they were She couldn't make him.

WellErrr Mon 19-Dec-16 07:24:13

Yep, you're the mother. If you don't want this to happen then say no.

WannaBe Mon 19-Dec-16 07:29:13

This is far too drip-drip. There is not enough information here to make an informed judgement.

If it's with his father for instance and you are separated then TBH I don't really see the issue. After all you would presumably have no issue having the child for a week without him seeing his father so I don't see it as different the other way around necessarily. Even if the father is taking the child to his family who maybe don't know him well yet due to separation...

However, if this is just the family then you just say no. It's not a discussion that even needs to be had. But stop being so cryptic and then people can give you genuine answers

Messedupmethinks Mon 19-Dec-16 07:29:57

Obviously a lot to this . Million mum thank you that's what I'm feeling. Came on here for support.

category12 Mon 19-Dec-16 07:30:22

Nope.

A week is too long for a first time away from mum. Especially at 2.

I wouldn't give them Xmas day. If it's the father, I might alternate Xmas', but otherwise nope. Other family could visit briefly on the day maybe if they are able to be civil and decent visitors, or take dc out on boxing day if they are decent trustworthy relatives.

Costacoffeeplease Mon 19-Dec-16 07:30:51

Can you give a fuller picture of the circumstances?

FetchezLaVache Mon 19-Dec-16 07:31:25

Members of your child's father's family don't get to dictate things like this. They can ask, but you can say no. There's no way on this earth I would have handed my DS to people he didn't know well for that length of time at that age (in fact, he's now 6 and I still wouldn't!).

Would DS be leaving the country, for the purposes of this visit?

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