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Works party - A bad idea maybe?

(46 Posts)
1DAD2KIDS Sun 18-Dec-16 17:27:18

Last night I went to a work Christmas party. It was one of those big parties in a hotel with lots of groups from other companies and industries. Anyway I sort of got it on with one of my colleges. She come over and started talking to me. We don't see a lot of each other in work (nature of the job) so this was the first time I had really got to know her apart from taking to her a bit last week. We got on really well, she was a pleasant surprise. Funny, quirky, smart and a twisted sense of humour. I am a bit of an odd ball so its rare for me to find someone interesting. She has a very sex brain and also good looking too. Also we are both single parents and her girl is the same age as my eldest, so we have a bit in common. Anyway conversation led to a spark and a spark led to great kissing somewhere private. It was very hot and a lot of fun. I felt like a teenager again behind the bike shed. Anyway we parted our ways eventually at stupid o'clock in the morning and she said she would like to go on a date sometime.

The trouble is where do I take it from here? I mean is wasn't looking to meet someone. I had sort of given up on relationships, so this has hit me right out the blue. Plus I have never had a thing with someone from work before, ever. So this is unchartered territory for me. I defiantly would be open to a date with her and see where it goes. I could do with some MN collective wisdom on the following:

Is it wise to see someone you work with or should it be avoided at all cost?

Although we kept it fairly low key I think so of our colleagues know what happened and the gossip machine will be going nuts. What's the best way of dealing with it because I am sure some noisy people will be pushing for info on Monday?

I text her last night in the taxi home. She has not text me today. So should I text her? Should I wait for her to text me? What if she has changed her mind, don't want to cause awkwardness. What is the protocol on this?

NotTheFordType Sun 18-Dec-16 17:42:53

I would text her, because you're both adults, and say something like "Hi, how was the rest of your weekend? x"

If she doesn't reply to that then she may be having regrets (similar to your concerns about colleagues gossiping etc.) In that case I'd make time to see her on Monday and just say "Look, I guess you're probably a bit embarrassed and want to forget about it all - no problem!"

If she does reply then ask her on a date ;)

You said you don't work closely together, so I wouldn't be worried about dating a colleague in those circumstances. I definitely wouldn't want to date anyone I sat right next to or had to deal with multiple times a day, because when you then break up it makes everything super awkward.

jbee1979 Sun 18-Dec-16 23:33:27

I met my husband at work. Text her! As you get older your social network sometimes gets smaller, and you both have kids, so that can't make it easy to meet people. Go for it smile

1DAD2KIDS Mon 19-Dec-16 17:18:52

So I text her last night. It went well. It was funny and affectionate text session. Ground work done so I guess all I need do is ask her out. I am fairly confident she would love to go out. But I don't half get my self in some pickles when I least expect. Like I said I didn't expect to meet someone date. Let alone someone I work with. I have sort of got used to being single. But I do like her she is funny.

So here's where I am at. I am trying to work out if its a good idea before I dive in.


She is funny, smart and attractive. I like her.

We are both in the same boat kids wise so see understands that I cant see her a lot and things revolve around the kids.

Because we work at the same place she understands the strange shift patterns and antisocial working times.


I work with her and what if we fall out?

I generally like to keep the different areas of my life separate. So the idea my intimate private life and work life coming together puts me outside my comfort zone.

What to do? What in theory is the worst that can happen if we go out together? Is there anything to consider that I have missed. I am a fish out of water.

HandyWoman Mon 19-Dec-16 17:50:01

I think it's great smile

Go for it!!

1DAD2KIDS Mon 19-Dec-16 21:08:44

ummm....... I don't know. Is it good to mix business with pleasure?

JW13 Mon 19-Dec-16 21:27:04

I met my husband at work so I'm biased!

But you said you don't see much of her at work generally (hence getting to know her more at the party), so what have you got to lose?

When I first met my now husband we were quite low-key about dating, no holding hands over lunch in the canteen or arriving together in the morning etc! Meeting at work is really common these days - if you work closely together or one of you is the others superior then you might need to tell your bosses but otherwise I don't see a problem.

elQuintoConyo Mon 19-Dec-16 21:39:40

I met my husband at work. There were 5 of us including the boss grin 18 years later and still going strong.

Grab life with both hands wine

AhYerWill Mon 19-Dec-16 21:47:39

I met DP at work and a previous BF. Just take things slow, keep things low key at work, and don't ghost her if things aren't working out.

So long as she isnt your boss (or you hers) and there are no policies against relationships it'll be fine.

Boolovessulley Mon 19-Dec-16 21:50:24

Yes definitely go got it.

1DAD2KIDS Mon 19-Dec-16 23:34:54

Ah screw it , maybe its time to throw caution to the wind. I mean we did have a good time so why not do it again. I will sit on it today as its getting late now. But tomorrow I think would be a good time. I must admit I still am a bit apprehensive because of the work personal life mixing thing.

AhYerWill I wont ghost her, I hate that but pretty common in the dating world. I think we are all adults and can handle the truth, warts and all.

AnyFucker Mon 19-Dec-16 23:41:45

Good luck !

Empress13 Mon 19-Dec-16 23:56:29

Are you M or F?

1DAD2KIDS Tue 20-Dec-16 00:09:48

I am a M. (you mean Male or Female I hope, if not I don't know what I have just labelled my self as)

FlowerOfTheValley Tue 20-Dec-16 00:19:08

Often good things happen when you least expect it. Unless one of you is the other's boss or you work closely together then you have nothing to lose so go for it. Good luck.

OhBlissOhJoy Tue 20-Dec-16 00:36:27

Oh go for it 1DAD, have some fun. Don't overthink it and who knows where it will lead? Good luck flowers

1DAD2KIDS Tue 20-Dec-16 09:12:38

Well I have done it, text sent. I know it sounds daft but I am more nervous of her saying yes than no.

ThomasRichard Tue 20-Dec-16 09:14:45

Aww it sounds lovely.

Doublejeopardy Tue 20-Dec-16 09:23:34

Nothing ventured....

hellsbellsmelons Tue 20-Dec-16 09:48:44

Many many couples meet at work.
I married my ExH and worked with him.
We were together 15 years!
You won't know until you try.
Just meet for a spot of lunch or for a coffee to begin with.
Then maybe a movie and dinner.....?

Don't over think it.
If it doesn't work out then so what?
You are both adults and quite able to cope with it.

1DAD2KIDS Tue 20-Dec-16 09:57:31

I intend to take it easy. Nothing serious. The kids come first and that don't leave me with a lot of free time. I guess she is the same. Just nice to enjoy some adult company and laughs. Like I say if it don't work out then I don't mind, that's the easy way. But I like her so against the will of my brain it's worth a shot. Anyway still waiting for a text back so still time to get blown out. If I do not worries, makes my life less complicated at least.

1DAD2KIDS Tue 20-Dec-16 16:45:02

Ah not sure if I have dropped a clanger? Still no reply. I guess there is sometimes a difference between throws of drunken party passion and real life.

AnyFucker Tue 20-Dec-16 17:43:07

C'est la vie

1DAD2KIDS Tue 20-Dec-16 21:41:10

Strange I didn't think I would be too bothered either way. Turns out I am both a bit gutted and feel a little silly. Still it would have been nice for her to send me a no thanks, I guess we all hate the silent treatment.

Scarftown Tue 20-Dec-16 22:55:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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