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How to end a toxic friendship

(8 Posts)
fuzzywuzzy Sun 18-Dec-16 16:56:14

I don't like this friend at all.

I don't consider her a friend.

I tried slowly ignoring her but she turned up at my doorstep to rant and rave at me.

We are very different. The main sticking point is she had an affair resulting in the man leaving his wife, young child and newborn baby for friend (some catch).

Friend and I argued about this a lot, in the end we agreed to disagree and I have told her not to mention the wife to me as I will never see friends point of view ever.

Recently friend has taken to bad mouthing the ex wife more and more, she doesn't like her partner paying maintenance for his children. But is happy for him to spend money on friend and her children (not MM'children) on luxury holidays.
She goes on about ex wife being mental, friend herself has mental health problems and I find it shocking she can try to dismiss another persons emotional responses as 'mental'.

I don't want to be friends with her, I don't like her. She knows where I live and I don't know how to get away from her.

There is a lot more that she has done over the four years I've known her. I've helped her out a lot previously and don't mind that at all. But I no longer have the tolerance levels for her behaviour. Especially in light of her current behaviour regarding her partners wife. I just feel desperately sorry for the wife. And I don't want to be a part of anything to do with the ongoing saga.

I want a quiet life. Not the drama friend seems to thrive on.

How do I get rid of this woman from my life, with minimum upset?

SelfCleaningVagina Sun 18-Dec-16 17:11:25

Just tell her? Perhaps write her a letter or a private FB message explaining how you feel, just as you have done in your OP, so it won't spill over into a massive row in person. Ask her not to turn up at your house as you don't want an argument you just want her to respect your feelings on the matter.

And if she turns up at your house don't answer the door.

fuzzywuzzy Sun 18-Dec-16 17:19:20

She does not take no for an answer.

I've watched over the years as other friends of this friend have massively fallen out with her because she won't take no for an answer.

For example I was very sick at one point which I told her about. She asked if she could do anything, I said no thank you I just need to sleep and recover and she turned up with her kids. I did ignore her that time as I couldn't answer the door I was so unwell.

Crazeecurlee Sun 18-Dec-16 19:55:06

Wow. Sorry OP, don't have any advice other than what has been suggested. Tell her, block her, ignore her (even when she's at your door) until she gets the message. What else is there to do? She sounds horrible.

Underthemoonlight Sun 18-Dec-16 19:58:22

Block her number
Block her on FB
Don't answer you're door to her

She will soon get the message.

fuzzywuzzy Sun 18-Dec-16 22:21:37

Thanks for the advice, I think I will have to do just that. I don't see any alternative.

AtrociousCircumstance Sun 18-Dec-16 22:53:05

If she turns up at your door more than once, or sends persistent messages, you can talk to the police about it. They will speak with her and her behaviour will be on the record. If it continues she could end up being charged with harassment.

Cricrichan Sun 18-Dec-16 23:44:09

Don't blame you for not liking that woman. Just tell her that you disagree with everything she's about and you can no longer be friends.

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