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Husband has been arrested.

(183 Posts)
user1482079084 Sun 18-Dec-16 16:56:02

He wants me to go and visit him. Would you? The relationship is over. However, he is still the father to my children. It's to do with a 15 year old girl.

pinkmagic1 Sun 18-Dec-16 16:57:14

Depends what he has been arrested for. Would need more info really.

Lelliot Sun 18-Dec-16 16:57:26

Do you want to visit him? If the relationship is over what would be the point?

sarahnova69 Sun 18-Dec-16 16:57:38


I don't know in all honesty. The 15 year old aspect sickens me. Who would you be doing it for? Yourself or him? Do you have children?

QueenOfTheSardines Sun 18-Dec-16 16:57:46

what's he been arrested for

sarahnova69 Sun 18-Dec-16 16:58:26

Duh, you said you do. How old are they? How much do they know?

AnyFucker Sun 18-Dec-16 16:59:51

Visit him where ?

user1482079084 Sun 18-Dec-16 17:02:14

Children are 8 and 12. They know he has 'made a mistake'. I don't know what to say to them.

I don't know. He just said he wants to see me.

pinkyredrose Sun 18-Dec-16 17:02:16

Has he sexually abused the 15yr old? If so then I would most definitely not visit and also keep DC away.

viques Sun 18-Dec-16 17:03:00

Has he been charged? Not much point visiting if just arrested, they won't let you in to see him. If he has been charged is he going to be remanded to appear or released on police bail? If remanded they won't let you see him either, but will probably let you bring in clean clothes etc. If released on police bail then what are the conditions of the bail if any, ie where does he have to stay, is he allowed to see your children if you have any.

Floggingmolly Sun 18-Dec-16 17:03:24

Has he just been arrested? And he's already asking you to visit him in prison? hmm

QueenOfTheSardines Sun 18-Dec-16 17:03:27

what has he been arrested for?

the crime will have a big impact on the decision, surely. so, what is it?

user1482079084 Sun 18-Dec-16 17:03:44

They had an 'online relationship' and went to meet her. He took her out. Nothing happened. This is what he has briefly told me.

ChampagneCommunist Sun 18-Dec-16 17:04:29

It would depend on the charge - a sexual relationship, no; he knocked her off her bike, maybe

QueenOfTheSardines Sun 18-Dec-16 17:05:23

So he's been arrested for grooming an underage child at least, possibly more as he might well not be honest with you about "nothing happened".

Is that right.

ChampagneCommunist Sun 18-Dec-16 17:05:24

If "nothing happened" I can't see an offence has been committed. What has he been charged with?

BratFarrarsPony Sun 18-Dec-16 17:05:39

no I would not. Concentrate on your children.

pinkmagic1 Sun 18-Dec-16 17:05:54

Did he know she was 15? Not that this makes any difference in the betrayal.

PacificDogwod Sun 18-Dec-16 17:06:41

What a horrible and difficult situation thanks

I think I would feel the need to tell him it's over in person.

So my advice to you would be to go and see him if that is what you want, not because he wants to see you, and certainly not because he is summoning you.

Diamondjoan Sun 18-Dec-16 17:07:08

No I would not be going to see him, or leaving my kids anywhere near him.

Ohdearducks Sun 18-Dec-16 17:07:57

Nope, regardless of if anything happened or not the intention was there. I wouldn't go in a million years.

Bluntness100 Sun 18-Dec-16 17:08:40

No, I wouldn't go and see him. There are many crimes I would go and see him after, but not after something that inVoles grooming or sexual contact with a 15 year old. The fact he's been arrested for it says something. Ask him what he's been charged with.

Lorelei76 Sun 18-Dec-16 17:09:15

has he been charged? Does he want bailing out?

I'd say no - because - 15 year old?!

JaniceBattersby Sun 18-Dec-16 17:10:24

Him taking her out is not 'nothing'. He's groomed her.

The CPS is clear on this:

"To combat increasing sexual approaches to children on-line, there is a new offence of meeting a child following sexual grooming. This makes it a crime to befriend a child on the Internet or by other means and meet or intend to meet the child with the intention of abusing them. The maximum sentence is 10 years imprisonment."

JaniceBattersby Sun 18-Dec-16 17:11:01

And, no, I wouldn't go and meet him. In fact, I'd be glad to be well shot.

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