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(5 Posts)
MagicChanges Sun 18-Dec-16 01:14:42

Every year my nephew invites me and my family and my sister and her family to his a few days after Christmas. He has a wife and 2 daughters. He's been doing this since our eldest sister (his mother) died 10 years ago. He usually contacts my sister with some dates and she and I get together to agree on one of the dates. This year he has phoned my sister with dates but not mentioned me and my family. I'm really hurt and can't think off anything I could have done to upset him or his lovely wife and daughters.

My nephew's wife's father died in November and he phoned my sister to tell her and mentioned that they were encouraging people to attend a thanksgiving service a week or so after the funeral and gave her the name of the church and the date. He didn't phone me and I thought it was maybe because he knew I'd hear about it on FB but I wasn't invited to the thanksgiving. I sent a card to them to say I was sorry about the loss of J's dad.

I am honestly at a loss to understand this. We only see them about twice a year, once in the summer and this one christmas visit. One of their daughters has a little boy and I have presents for him. My sister doesn't understand it at all, but I've made light of it because she would worry over something like this.

What would you do?

Notnownornever Sun 18-Dec-16 08:23:11

I'd got my sister to ask him outright

The being excluded from the thanksgiving service would have been enormous ghbto make me ask

He is clearly excluding you and doing so very blatantly so you need to find out what you have done to upset him so you can either correct it or tell him he is an arse

MagicChanges Sun 18-Dec-16 13:46:28

Thanks. Yes I wondered why my sister didn't ask if the invite was for my family as usual, but she didn't. She's very reserved and wouldn't like to - she said he asked how I was!

I think I might e mail him as that won't be putting him on the spot. We're not a family to fall out at all or to exclude people - so it is very weird. I suffer from a mental health condition which is intermittent so it's always a hit and miss affair but all the family understand that and know that I might have to cancel. It's never been a problem before.

Notnownornever Mon 19-Dec-16 20:39:45

Did you get any answers OP?

MagicChanges Tue 20-Dec-16 23:32:17

Nope! Spoke to my sister again today and she's puzzled - apparently the date that nephew wants is 2nd Jan. We're away until 28th so might e mail him when we're back. Not going to stress over it though. He's not on FB so I can't PM him. His daughter is though and I talk to her quite a lot but don't want to bring her into it as not really fair but think I'll have to get her dad's e mail off her as can't think of anyone else who has it.

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