Trying to rekindle relationship with 365 reasons i love you

[PlayOnWurtz]

A dumb idea I know but worth a go. Anyway I've got 220 written down which i thought was pretty good going. How do I come up with a further 145? I'm stumped.

[TalkingofMichaelAngel0]

Ehat doet of things have you got so far?

[Frollyhollyday]

Maybe yyoh don't love them enough haha.

Ehat about focusing on things you enjoy doing together and why you enjoy them.

Eg i love you because you enjoy the outdoors
I love the smile on your face when you make it on the hill on our bike rides

Dependa what the 220 you already have are.

[PlayOnWurtz]

I've got the obvious ones like shared interests, how he makes me feel, various memories, words to trigger memories, things he does round the house, how sexy I find various parts of him and him as a whole

[HeddaGarbled]

Couldn't you whittle it down to the ten most important? Are you planning to read them out to him/her or expect him/her to read them. I would hate you after about 20. The whole thing sounds excruciating. Is she/he doing the same?

[PlayOnWurtz]

No they go into a jar and he pulls out one a day. God no way would I want them read all at once

[Groovester]

Smells? Songs? Places? Food? Holidays? Special occasions? Memorable gifts? Funny times? Sad times? Romantic times? How you feel when you're apart?

[Cricrichan]

Just repeat some - he won't remember haha

[Cricrichan]

I could probably come up with 365 reasons why he annoys me though!

[ChaChaChaCh4nges]

Has your OH agreed to this? And is he or she doing something equivalent for you?

[HeddaGarbled]

So do you get your one a day jar as well?

[HeddaGarbled]

Also, I give it two months max before he gets bored with it so 60 will be plenty.

[PlayOnWurtz]

Thanks groovester

I may end up with repetitions.

He appreciates romantic gestures and I figured this would remind him of all the little things and big things about us.

But then he may take hedda''s stance in which case I can't see a future for us.

[ChaChaChaCh4nges]

Why do you feel that this gesture is needed? What underlying issue are you trying to resolve?

I have to say - I'd hate this. It feels forced and superficial and I wouldn't want the pressure of taking a message out of a jar each day.

[PlayOnWurtz]

Because we've had so much drama go on in our lives we've forgotten about us and forgotten about why we got together and why we stay together.

And I'm crap at saying these things in person and he won't consider relationship counselling. So this is my variation of it.

[PlayOnWurtz]

Even if I don't give it to him I've written it down and reminded myself why I love him

[soeasybreezy]

I think it is really sweet and rather therapeutic. What about the fact that you are still together despite all the drama, could be one for the count, means that you have something worth fighting for :)

[Pallisers]

I'm extremely happy with my husband of 24 years but I'd be bored out of my mind long before I got to two hundred and something reasons I love him. I don't think there are 365 reasons to love him in fact. I love him because he is who he is, kind good, intelligent, interesting. that's four. i could probably muster up 20 more (has read PG Wodehouse, loved my mum and dad - ok running out) but 365 - cruel and unusual punishment!

Well done you for trying but could you do something easier? Like sitting down together and deciding to be kind to each other. And tell each other "I love you" every day. Or kiss when you leave the house. Or buy an occasional present like a book or a tub of ice cream for each other.

If you decide to be kind and presume the best of your partner, things generally improve a lot (unless he is an abusive twat in which case nothing improves anything).

[StiffenedPleat]

It will all come to you and if it doesn't just use a fortune cooker generator and piggy back off that:

e.g. Fortune cookie generator says:

Do not let doubt and suspicion bar your progress.

You say: I love the way you make progress in life without suspicion or doubt.

[Frollyhollyday]

I'm just going to say what a lovely ifea it is. He doesn't need to do it for you and your reasons to remind each other of the love you share is a valid one. Ignore the naysayers op.

What about how other people see him

[Gallavich]

You're expecting him to get excited about something he has to do every day for a whole year
It's too much. You're putting a lot of effort in and it can't possibly achieve what you hope it will. My son is already bored of his advent calendar and that's only 17 days in. 365 days of having to be appreciative of little comments when he's getting ready for work or whatever?
Sweet idea, but way too much.

[FATEdestiny]

I thought the idea of these jars was that for 365 days you write down one reason per day and put it into the jar. It might relate directly to something mundane that happened that say, or a memory, or something general. The nature of doing it gradually over a year means there will be repeats. That just highlights important things though.

Then at any point during the year either of you can take a handful out and read through them to feel better about yourself

[PlayOnWurtz]

It has been cathartic writing them down so even if I don't give them to him it's helped me so Meh.

fate there are lots of different ways to do it.

[ParadiseCity]

I think it sounds very kind and loving. Good luck.