Broken hearted again

[missb10]

I don't know where else to post this. Eleven years ago my husband died suddenly, leaving me with our two young boys. They have since been taken into care, due to my mental health issues following my husband's death. I do see them once a month, for which I count myself fortunate.

About two years ago I started attending a centre for people with drink/drug problems as I had begun to drink heavily. Whilst there I met lots of lovely people, including a man to whom I have begun to feel very close. We are on the same wavelength. When we first met, about a year and a half ago, he was in a complicated relationship, so I left alone even though I felt attracted to him. Then he went away for a while. When he returned, I thought my feelings for him might have gone, but they were as strong as ever. We are now good friends and I was thinking I might be in with a chance. However, we have a mutual friend, a woman who briefly had a relationship with him (not the complicated one) about eighteen months ago. She wants to get back with him. It's not right to go after a friend's fella, whether she's going to get back with him or not. So now I have to forget about him. We see each other several times a week, which is not as much as she does as she is his neighbour. He's the only one I've had these feelings for since my husband, even though I know plenty of other men. I feel like I can never have a relationship.

[jeaux90]

They are not together and broke up for a reason. If you think he has feelings for you then why wouldn't you go for it?

[Kittencatkins123]

Could you give him that choice? (Between you and the mutual friend). I applaud your loyalty but if they only had a brief relationship I think it's not that bad. How do you think she would react and is there a possibility she would be okay about it?